Archive | December, 2016

Joy of Snirt

This holiday week I have immersed myself in sloth of varying degrees, mostly saved for the tail end of the day in front of the fireplace. During the day I’ve been eating proper and being as active as possible so as to make amends for my evening vices. Those activities have mostly been confined to 3.5 mile runs/lumbers on the treadmill, but yesterday I got an itchy bung to be outside. So I aired up the Fatterson, dawned multiple layers of winter clothing, and headed out to experience The Joy of Snirt (thankfully void of hairy hippies getting their freak on).

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Ninja Holiday Visit

Excuse me while I sing one of my favorite lines from one of my least favorite songs…“ITTTTT’S the most WWWWONDERFUL time of the yyyyyear….” Yes, the holidays, barring New Year’s Eve, are OVER! Can I get an amen??

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Solstice Stomp

Wednesday I celebrated the Winter Solstice with a snowshoe stomp around in the woods on Sally’s Trail. A fat bike ride on the same trail would have been possible, but with winds gusting up to 40 miles per hour the day before, I was hesitant to believe L.C.’s tales of the trail being in good enough shape for a proper ride. So I slapped the Tubbs on my tubbiness and headed our for a 3.5+ mile loop to blow the stink off me and give cafeteria Pagan thanks to the sun which will be inching itself back into our lives in the weeks to come.

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The Slogging Continues

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The winter thus far has left me with little motivation to get out on the bike. Prior to riding Sunday I had only ridden twice through the week; one freezing cold ride in the wind and snow drifts, and one short ride on the soft snow at Sally’s Trail down in Alma. The rest of the week was spent on the treadmill and lifting heavy things for no reason. I wanted to get outside on Saturday, and even went so far as to ready my snowshoes, but after I was done clearing the driveway of another five inches of snow, I lost my desire and found myself reaching for my Xbox controller and a bottle opener instead. Saturday would be Sloth Day.

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4 Degrees In The Sun

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I woke up Thursday and did my normal Jason things: multiple coffees, multiple dumps, wake B, make lunches, get B his breakfast, make and eat my breakfast, check that B brushed his teeth, make sure Wifey remembers her travel mug, etc., etc. Then as soon as Wifey and B were out the door I laid down for an hour of what I call “second sleep.” Pretty much an hour for me to lay there and think about what I need to do and try to forget about the fact that I got up at 6 AM without a paycheck in sight.

Whilst I laid there digesting breakfast, what I needed to do, the never f*cking ending Trump shit show and my hatred of said orange skinned Hitler, the mouse (or bat) living (mouse, now dead) in our garage wall, and whether or not I’ll ever have a real job again, I got a text from L.C. at Terry’s filling me in on the condition of Sally’s Trail down in Alma (slow, but rideable he said). Little does L.C. know, but I farted in his general direction, turned over an farted again (I had Mexican the night before. Maybe I should build a wall? Around my anus!!! Sorry).

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Motivation In The End

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After two days off the bike doing little other than snow removal, cussing, house work activities, and playing EA Sports FIFA, I somehow forced myself outside into the snow to ride this morning. I’d like to write a litany of motivating words telling you how great it felt to be out in the 20˚ temps, riding through the blowing and drifting snow, and how alive and full of life lusting TED Talks vigor I was, but that would be a bunch of bullshit.

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Miles Nowhere and Somewhere

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Winter is now (unofficially) officially here in the mid-Mitten. I was hopeful that it was detoured when the snow we got last Sunday melted through the week, but I knew it was here for sure when a quick pre-ride check of my phone Friday said it was 24˚/Feels like 17˚. What it should have said was 24˚/Feels like cold as f*ck.

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Unsure

I’m unsure when the last time I rode my bike was. According to this here blog it seems that it was a week ago today, but it feels like it could have been a month ago.

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Wednesday Rolled

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After two days spent working out indoors for a variety of reasons (weather, time, not giving a shit), I got out for a ride on Wednesday morning. It was a short and sweet 25 miler, with little photo ops along the way, and many of the roads were still muddy messes, but a ride, is a ride, is a ride, is a ride.

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