Archive | Random

Fuzzyness

By soiledchamois on April 27, 2022 in Random

It’s been a minute and a half since my last post, but there is a very good reason for that; weather, travel, gym time, and soccer dad duties have conspired to keep me out of the woods with my camera, and no one exactly wants to read this shit anyway, let alone read this shit when it has nothing to do with anything even vaguely outdoor-related and only features photos of my kid playing soccer, a bowl of pasta I made for lunch, or my dogs. Unless, of course, I’ve misjudged my ever-dwindling audience and the blog’s SEO stats (I think I have those).

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The Scent of Slack

By soiledchamois on April 13, 2022 in Random

On Monday morning, I wrote a post about how much of a slacker I was over the weekend. However, because my slack was so unbelievably strong, there were no photos to accompany the post. So I waited. But I waited so long that I now find the post more irrelevant and even dumber than my usual dross. So it’s been permanently shelved—the Blog Dogs rejoice.

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Strutting My Stuff

By soiledchamois on April 5, 2022 in Random

There is a first time for everything, and I’m not too ashamed to admit it; I hurt my foot Monday afternoon while animatedly relaying a story to Brenann about the time a few years ago when I saw a clip of a non-league goalkeeper doing the Connor McGregor strut after his team scored a late-game winner at the opposite end of the pitch.

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Teeth, Birds, Gas, & Ice

By soiledchamois on March 30, 2022 in Random

Over the years, it’s been well documented that I am a creature of routines and habits. Some are good, like going to the gym at the same time every morning, and some are bad; we won’t speak of those right now. Still, I dig a good routine, and Tuesday’s gym time was ruined by a dentist appointment I apparently made after a cleaning six months ago and only found out about via a Monday night reminder text from the office. Oh well, it seems my body will have to remain in this sagging and flaccid state one day longer.

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It’s Not You, It’s Me

By soiledchamois on March 26, 2022 in Cycling, Random

As I write this, it’s a dark, cold, icy Saturday morning in mid-Michigan, and I can’t make up my mind if I want to go for a photo walk in the icy woods, go to the gym to lumber nowhere fast on the Dreadmill or go back to the Bed of Torment for a second sleep; the world is my mother friggin’ oyster as they say.

Somewhere between morning bowel discharges, too much coffee, and my 3 egg white omelet with veggie sausages, I was made aware via a variety of Instagram posts that today is the Barry-Roubaix gravel race near Grand Rapids.

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The Inebriated Agenda

By soiledchamois on March 20, 2022 in Random

Yet another unneeded brief message from the President and CEO of thesoiledchamois.net, and Soiled Chamois Enterprises, Inc.™

Dear Reader,

I apologize in advance for this post. I started it on Friday but then became slightly “under the influence.” So I shelved it until Saturday evening. But then I became under the influence again and shelved it until Sunday morning. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I tried to clean up this mess up as best I could, but I don’t care enough to work on it any longer. It also seems I enjoy being under the influence a bit too much. But we all knew that. I’ll let you decide which parts were written when.

— Management

As mentioned in my last unneeded post about nothing, I experienced a bit of knee pain while on the Dreadmill the other day. Well, thankfully, that pain didn’t stick around, and I was back to doing “sprint” intervals the very next day and actually felt really good (enough) over the 3 miles.

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Mid-Weekishness & Weakishness

By soiledchamois on March 17, 2022 in Random

The week has been moving along pretty darn not bad, with daily workouts in the gym, including a 5-mile lumber on Tuesday that took me so long that the Dreadmill started going into cool down mode, and I had to hit stop and start again, just to keep walking my “sprightly for a fat man” 4 MPH. I guess most people don’t stay on a machine for over an hour, especially someone who is a shadow of their formerly fit self. I do love me some cardio, though, even if it is just a fast walk while listening to music and trying not to notice that there is a war going on via the rows of talking heads on the TVs in front of me.¹

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What’s In a Name?

By soiledchamois on March 5, 2022 in Random

I have been thinking more and more about this site lately, and I find that I’m sort of in a conundrum. See, as many of you know, I started this blog back in April of 2005. My first “real” post was about a hilly 55-mile road ride back in Western Pennsylvania, some of which was in a cold rain.

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Plans & Dog Poo

By soiledchamois on February 28, 2022 in Random

The best-made plans can often end up being steaming dog poo. It’s a fact. However, there are times, as in this case, that the ruined best-made plan was only a blog post; it was just OK-ish, and instead of dog poo, it just became an unpublished file of word salad on my hard drive.

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Stacy Was Right

By soiledchamois on February 23, 2022 in Random

In May 2021, I took the advice of my fictional editor and chose not to write a post concerning this topic. Now here we are in 2022, and this time I’ve decided to ignore the guidance of Stacy B. You have my most insincere apologies — Management.

In July of 2019, I started back to the gym for what I referred to here as “Operation Pec-Lift.” OPL was my code for lifting heavy things for no reason. I had just turned 48 years old and wanted to re-start strength training for my bones, overall health, and of course, to deflabafy¹ my arms, pecs, and flaccid white man ass.

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