The First Real Ride of 2014

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It only took 79 days (I think, you do the math) but I finally got a ride in on a bike with tires less than 3.8 inches wide. FUCK YEAH, SPRING!! (sort of).

With the Barry-Roubaix looming in 24 hours, I felt it would probably behoove me to see if the bike I plan on using for the race ride actually functioned, given that I hadn’t been on it since early November. Lucky for me, it worked just fine (despite a layer of crusty mud left from that ride in early November) and I had a pretty damn good ride out on the dirt roads.

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The temps were in the 30’s, which after a winter of temps that all too often dipped well below 0˚, felt like temps in the 50s! Road conditions included a bit of everything: deep mud 1, hard packed dirt, loose gravel, ice, swallow-a-VW sized pot holes, pavement and everything in between. In other words, it was pretty much what I’ll experience at tomorrow’s Barry-Roubaix, only tomorrow will have more climbing.

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Beyond not feeling the whirling sluggishness of fat bike tires beneath me and being on a bike weighing closer to twenty pounds than forty, the highlight of my day was doing the ride and actually feeling good. I’ve been in the gym, on the trainer and on the fat bike all winter– haven’t lost a fucking pound. In fact, I probably gained 50 (I might be exaggerating). BUT! Today I felt strong and not like a complete, out of shape, fat fuck [Side Note: I know it makes me sound like a foul-mouthed fattist,  but I just love those two words together (that would be “fat” and “fuck”). Anytime I hear someone (even me) called a “fat fuck” I can’t help but giggle… I’m giggling now and all I did was type it. Well, that and be a fat fuck].

So, despite the chilly air and the occasional mud, ice and my admitted fat fuck-ness, today was a damn good way to start off what I HOPE is the dawn of spring. Ah, who am I kidding! I bet we get a least one more good snow before May, ha!

Have you noticed there were cows along today’s ride? Yep, there were… they were out doing whatever it is that cows do: lactate, eat grass, shit, chew cud, try not to think about slaughter houses, etc., etc…

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With that. I am out of here you fat fucks (I mean that in the best of ways). I gots to drink a couple of beers, make some homemade pizza and chill before heading to bed for an early rise and two-hour drive to the 2014 Barry-Roubaix. Good luck to the other 2.1 million people racing it.

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