Archive | July, 2014

Fat on Fat, Man on Bike Love


With B-Man in Pittsburgh with his Poppy for the week and Wifey in Baltimore on .gov business, I am considering this week a vacation week. There will be many miles ridden and copious amounts of beer drank. There will be drunk Tweeting and Facebooking, strippers and casual sex with throngs of horned up CMU girls aching to get a piece of me. OK, that’s all pretty much a lie. I plan to get some miles in, hit up some new riding areas, drink a few beers and maybe hang out with some friends. The rest is just perverted daydreaming by a 43-year-old man with a wife of seventeen years and a 10-year-old son out-of-town for the week.

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Neffness VII


I just got back into town from a whirlwind trip back to Western PA and need to get some ride mojo going, what better way than with some Neffness?

I am pretty sure that Jolanda Neff is the Peter Sagan of Women’s XCO mountain bike racing, just with better hair, much nicer legs and (most likely) no want to pinch any podium girl bums… not to mention I have no desire to see Peter Sagan in a skirt showing off the bike geek tan lines on his thighs (unless he finally wins a fucking sprint finish!).

Photo via Jolanda Neff’s Facebook page, most likely taken by Bernard van Dierendonck

Strange Enjoyments


Lately I have been taking enjoyment from some strange things, and by “strange,”  I don’t mean stupidly riding around the snowless woods on a heavy ass fat bike or my born again lust for women wearing tube socks. Not that those things aren’t fun or incredibly freaking hot, it’s just not what I am referring to. Read on if ye care, if ye don’t… well… don’t.

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A Different Burger


Long time Soiled Chamois readers (all two of them) are probably familiar with my early summer Cat 5 Cooking project entitled The Soiled Burger Project; a meaty attempt at making a burger that was tastier to my aging, dulling taste buds. In my opinion, the results were great and I eventually settled on a burger that I really enjoy eating and turns out perfect for me on a consistent basis. However, I started to enjoy a few too many of them. Many pounds of ground beef were happily eaten. Then, just as I started looking into buying my own cow, and just shy of developing SCOMS (or as it is unrecognized by and not at all referred to by the American Medical Association: Severe Chronic Ongoing Meat Sweats) I decided that I had found my burger and it was time to move on… time to move on to something a bit more, how should I say this… vegetarian?

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The Fat Between


The past week was once again low on hours in the saddle and high on Dad duties and other activities. I’m not going to complain about that, I’m very lucky to have been given the opportunity (thanks to the size of Wifey’s brain) to hang out with my son during the summer rather than send him to camp or seek “baby” sitting so I can utilize my utter lack of education and useless past work experience working at Taco Bell…Not that there’s anything wrong with that (if you’re 17), Taco Bell makes some fine quasi, sort of, not at all authentic Tex-Mexican-ish foods that are beloved by the obese and stoned college kids world-wide (except Mexico).

However–as I mentioned in quick post yesterday–I was able to get out for a double dip of dirt on Saturday and slow-paced loop on Sunday. Joy!

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Fast, Then Fat

Firstly, I extend my apologies to my two faithful readers for not updating in a while. My cycling life has been pretty… um… ah… “uneventful” to say the least and pretty much void of riding (welcome to my summers). The last week was filled with me running on the treadmill (not blog worthy, unless you’re some perverse freak that enjoys hearing about a fat man flopping around on a treadmill as he walks and runs at speeds betweenst 3.5 and 8 miles per hour), my 17th wedding anniversary (freaking AWESOME, but still not blog worthy, no matter HOW much I love Wifey) and hanging out on my front porch drinking beer in the evenings (fun, but again, not all that blog worthy).

With all that said, Saturday I finally got out on some dirt. I took the Superfly and headed up to MMCC with hopes of a good ride. I have done this many times in 2014 and more often than not I have come back in pain (stupid almost 43 year old back!), pissed off and ready to hang up my bikes for good. Thankfully, this weekend was kind to me and I had some great rides…

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Random Fatness

I found the video below while fumbling around the web-O-sphere this morning (it’s been a busy morning). Other than getting passed by fat bike riders at races (and cursing at them for doing so) I can’t say I’ve ever seen a fat bike go this fast.

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