Cat 5 DIY Adventures
Step One: The trees
I started with what tools and saws I had and got one of the six dog pen trees down. It was clear a chainsaw would be needed. I have no chainsaw experience, so I went with a more novice-friendly electric one. Two chains later, I had all nine deer ravaged trees down (six from the dog pen area).
Step Two: The stumps
This was easy, I called a tree guy, he arrived, and one hour and $300 later all nine stumps were gone, and all the trees were chipped and hauled away.
Step Three: The fence
The lattice came down easy, and lucky for me the posts were not cemented into the ground. Win. The chainlink fence and gate disassembled easy, and soon I was down to five metal posts. Off to Home Despot™, I went again and came home with an angle grinder and a metal cutting blade.
I covered myself from head to toe in protective gloves, glasses, hat, and very flammable cotton clothing and started cutting through the posts like a hot knife through cement.
Post cut down and ground down to the cement, I now had a heap of wood and metal to be hauled away.
Step Four: Haul That Shit Away
I called the local junk hauler, and after spending 10 minutes giving him directions to my house that he was just 5 minutes from, and had been to before, he arrived and took all the fencing for $100.
Step Five: Landscape
After the ground surrounding the cement was shoveled, raked, graded, and cursed at, I went to Home Despot™ AGAIN for weed barrier, edging, and rock. Then to Meijer for three dwarf Alberta spruce trees that deer reportedly won’t eat.
Barrier down, edging installed, and trees planted.
Rock was laid, and it was clear I would need more. And then some more. Then more trees. Then more rock.
After two weeks of this bullshit and a shit-ton of money, and time, I finally finished the project before the rains would come on Thursday. The only thing left to do is patch the holes in the cement where the fence posts were.
I learned a few things through his DIY journey:
- I needed this. It took my mind off of the real world and proved to myself that I can learn new things.
- While this was a good workout, I am too old for this, and now my back, knees, ankles, neck, arms, hands, and shoulders hurt like hell.
- I’m happy with the way it came out, but the more I look at it, I see every crooked line and mistake. Oh well, it ain’t no shitty dog pen.
- We’d like to have the landscaping in the front yard replaced. I will be calling a professional. Fuck that shit.