I woke up Thursday morning at 5:20, fed the dog, and thought about the morning’s lumber. Something was telling me to skip it, and after a few minutes of internal discussions, I decided that I was not one to argue with “something,” and pulled the plug.
All aboard the Depression Express (TOOT! TOOT!), next stop: Crazy Town!
No, I’m not going to bore you with tales of the random fits of depression and anger that I’ve been dealing with for a few days now, mostly because I can feel it ebbing away like a lost erection into the soft man-FUPA of life. Also because I don’t know what the cause of it was, other than being bored with life, not sleeping well, not enjoying who and what I’ve become/not become, and wanting the world to normal up for just a gahdamn minute—ONE MINUTE!!
But, like I said, ebbing and shit. So, into the woods, Fat Man!
If you listen closely, you can hear it; it’s the sound of me exiting a cocoon of gelatinous, depressive slack like a birthed Orc. Only it smells worse and looks even worse-er.
Wednesday’s lumber was more of the same, with my aging ass in the woods and on the trail at 6:05 AM to avoid the worst of the day’s stifling heat and humidity.
The weekend was the weekend; I did intervals on the Dreadmill on Saturday morning, and I made the best of watching the Round of 8 World Cup matches (C’MON ENGLAND!) whilst making bad decisions.
The weekend also helped kick off the annual “Week of Me,” which started on Sunday when Wifey and I celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary. Yes, yes, I am just as surprised as you that she’s still here, but to know me is to tolerate me, and Wifey does it very well. AND I think she MIGHT even love me.
This week was better than last in the lumbering department, but not by much.
Yes, skipping Monday was my fault for staying up too late on Sunday watching England play Mexico (totally worth it), but the heat, humidity, and bugs of the early morning woods had me scaling back my now normal 6-mile loop to 5-mile loops for two of the week’s four lumbers.
After Tuesday’s 6+ mile lumber, I returned to the woods on Wednesday morning for more of the same. Within the first mile, my body was NOT having it. I’m not sure it was the accumulation of two days of sweating my balls off working in the yard and an early morning lumber, or what, but my legs were heavy, my mind was cloudy, and I wanted a dirt nap. And I hadn’t even completed a mile yet! Shit.
On Sunday, I went to bed WAY later than usual due to the England vs Mexico game being moved back to 9 PM because of thunderstorms in Mexico City. But it was worth it, and my long-time “adopted” national team, England, held on for a 3-2 win. It was freaking awesome!
Please note that this post contains a good deal of satirical opinions. So, like, don’t be getting your panties in a bunch, man.
— Thanks, Management
The first week of July was lackluster to say the least. Intense heat and crazy high humidity made being outside for more than a few minutes pretty miserable. That, along with a mild stomach bug that hit me Thursday morning and lasted off and on again until Saturday morning (I blame shredded hoagie lettuce from the night before; no pun intended, but you can’t trust that shit SEE UPDATE AT BOTTOM, made the idea of being in the woods an unappealing prospect to say the least.
My woodsy lumbering has been on hold for a couple of days as I let the intense heat get back to normal over the next 24-48 hours. In the meantime, I have been taking advantage of the pollinator garden in the yard as my personal macro studio. It’s been swell.