Getting Back To Guinness


Back 1991 or 92, when I used to go out with friends, my beers of choice were Coors Light, Rolling Rock or if I was lucky Yuengling Lager (I know, right?). I would experiment here and there, but it wasn’t easy, I was making shit money and living in a small town in Western Pennsylvania at the time. Hell, if you were at a bar and even ordered something as “crazy” as a Yuengling there was a good chance they wouldn’t know what you were talking about and then probably question your sexual orientation (even though it was brewed just a few hours away in Pottsville, PA). Oh well, when in Rome (or at least a small town in Western, PA in the early nineties with no money) drink shit beer.

Once I met Wifey and started frequenting the city (Pittsburgh) more and more I was introduced to many more craft brewed and imported beers. One beer that I seemed to have almost weekly during our dating days was Guinness (usually by the pint at Mullaney’s Harp & Fiddle in Pittsburgh’s Strip District). I learned to love it, and just like many others new to the world of good beer, I was shocked that it was actually quite light and drinkable… of course I was more shocked to see Wifey win a Guinness chugging contest on one particularly festive night, but that is a WHOLE other story. [I’m very proud]

All that’s ancient beer history now, fast forward nearly twenty years and I all but forgot about Guinness. My ever developing beer pallet fancies too many other beers out there… BIG high ABV stouts and wonderfully bitter and hoppy IPAs took over and I never looked back. As you can imagine, there is a price to be paid when it comes to such beers in the form of man-blub and calories… oh boy, the calories! Wake Up Dead by Left Hand Brewing Co. is one of my absolute favorite Imperial Stouts, it is just amazing. Sadly it can also kick your ass and contains over THREE HUNDRED calories! Add in a few other beers and you have yourself a 1,000+ calorie night… before dinner! Yikes!

Entering this new year I knew that I didn’t want to completely waste my time and money at the gym and on the bike with all those empty calories. I also know that I love good beer. Sure some summer evenings I will have a few Hamm’s (with a lime wedge to ease the occasional gag reflex) but that is the exception rather than the rule. So, on those nights when I want a few beers and a session beer is in order, I am gonna try to get back to basics… I am getting back to Guinness.


While I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s GOOD for you (it is beer), it’s not as bad as it COULD be, coming in at around 4.1% ABV and only 126 calories per 12 oz. draught bottle. I’ll take 26 extra calories over a shit assed Bud Select any day. As an added bonus for me, the scent of Guinness sort of acts like a sexual pheromone with Wifey due to her Irish heritage. (Win!)

Session Beer Bonus Recommendation:

Another quality session beer made right here in Michigan with a great hoppy aroma and a nice dry finish is All Day IPA by Founder’s Brewing.

AllDayIPA6packAll Day is bit higher in calories with 141 but that is in acceptable ball park for me considering that my favorite hoppy beer (Sierra Nevada’s Torpedo) has 216 calories per 12 oz. bottle. A.D.I.P.A. also weighs in a just 4.7% ABV, so you can have a few and not end up betting your friends that you can “totally eat an entire five-pound pot roast!” or end up stumbling around the streets like a bum covered in wine sick, garbage found baked beans and shit. All Day IPA is available on tap and in bottles and cans.

Cuss! I really started rambling here… my bad. I am just pointing out that if you dig beer but are trying to watch your blubber, you don’t have to drink watered down mini mart sold hog’s piss to do so. There are options.

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