Author Archive | soiledchamois

Apparently, It’s Tuesday

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____

As I start to type this, it’s 11:04 AM on Tuesday. I’ve been awake for just 12 minutes. And I fully admit, I had to quickly glance at the upper right corner of my monitor to see what day it is. Isn’t it just one long-ass pointless pandemic of a day?

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Alternative Happy Places

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____

I remember going to church when I was younger; I can still remember the smells of musty old men in sad suits that had been farted in a million times, granny perfumes, and wafting incense as the congregation robotically recited prayers that were beaten into brains since birth with the use of fear and guilt.

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Dog Hairs

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____ 

The title of this post could be referring to the amount of (Lola) dog hair I find in, on, around, beside, below, and above almost every piece of furniture, in every room, and in every orifice in the house (don’t ask). But it’s not.

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22 After 159

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____

I debated for two days on whether to do a Pandemic Ride or not. At first, I was like, “Nah, what if I crash or something and piss the hospital people off?” Then I was just lazy, and finally, on Thursday, I was like, “Fuck it. If my slow ass crashes so bad on a dirt road ride that I need medical attention, it was probably due to something that would kill me, like a 10-ton tractor.” So I rode.

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Tuesdays & Trade Wars

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____

Tuesday was not one of my better days. Since the start of this whole mess we, the people of the earth find ourselves in, I have been doing what I do and rolling with the pandemic punches. However, that was not the case on Tuesday.

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Yes, The Bear Does

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____

Another day, another chance to be amazing! 

JEEEZZZZUSS-8-BRICE’S HOT MOM IN A NIGHTIE!!! I can’t believe I just typed that! Oh well, at least I didn’t type “LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.”

Wait, what? FUCK!!!

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Normalcy Achievement, Unlocked!

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____

I am a creature of habit and routine. Many of my days are spent doing the same things as the day before, at the same general times, for the same general reasons. Some days vary slightly due to Premier League match times, school cancellations, appointments, or a dreaded trip away from home because plans were made for me.

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I Have My Reasons

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.

My family and I are not ill. Yet.

And we’re not “officially” quarantined for any real reason other than not wanting to come into contact with any more potentially sick people than we have to. I can leave the house if I want to. And if you tell me I can’t, then I probably will.

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