I am not the biggest road racing fan in the world, but I am a fan of spring and of course cycling. And to me there are a few things in life that mark spring’s arrival…
- Seeing grass that looks more like a dog puke/diarrhea cocktail than grass (still waiting).
- Becoming a huge, giant horn-dog lusting after any female woman lady-type who dares to bare her shoulders (don’t tell Wifey… and I’m STILL waiting).
- Revealing my cellulite ridden glow-white legs for the first time (Jesus, this year they look like two giant servings of raw haggis, and other than ONE day in Florida last month, it seems it’s going to be a while before that happens).
- Finally…. watching Paris-Nice on the tube just because I NEED to see SOMEONE… ANY-fucking-one pedal a fucking bike.
Well, it seems there is no day-of TV coverage of Paris-Nice in the You-Ess-Of-Ay this year (at least that I can find on my cable), possibly a byproduct of the Lance scandal (You fucker! I hate you, I loved you, I hate you, I feel sorry for you! But those Tours were quite fun even though they are sooooo fucking tainted now… you fucker!)
OK, deep breath….
Anyway, it’s a bit sad that I am not seeing any coverage of a road race that I really don’t care all that much about on my TV, but guess what ‘merica?? It’s two-thousand-fucking-fourteen (I think). We gotz the Inter-web-sphere-net-thing, you can find the race if you look, download it, and watch in H fucking D (if you want and have a gainfully employed, smart wife that lets you buy an HDTV even though you have no fucking job and ran a potentially great mountain bike magazine into the ground because you had NOOOO fucking idea what you were doing).
More deep breathing….
So, having said all that over the course of drinking the weekend’s remaining Torpedo’s I am going to go watch Stage 1 of the 2014 Paris-Nice. Yes, I know how it ends. I don’t care. It’s sort of almost spring somewhere.
Photo: letour.com