So, close, yet so far away. Well, at least until Wednesday morning.
I am 6 miles from the 800-mile mark of the 2022 Not Dead Yet Comeback Special/2023 Soil The Woods Tour, and I’ve been thwarted by Tuesday morning’s colonoscopy and Monday’s fasting and bowel flush.
Sure, nothing stopped me from getting a six-mile hike in on Monday morning, but the idea of hiking 6 miles on an empty stomach and being unable to refuel for more than 24 hours was not all that appealing. Nor is going for a hike with an undogly amount of laxatives in my system. Although I imagine morning hikes after a night of I.P.A.s and Mexican food may be equally risky and slightly more flammable upon exit.
Raceway Path finally looking green.
The colonoscopy prep was the prep and just like you think it is, but I was surprised that most of what came out was just green water shot out with enough PSI to remove the finish from the toilet. I was expecting to see a fecal mass murder like normal. I do know I never want to drink Gatorade again, and I definitely KNOW I don’t want to drink it laced with 8 ounces of laxative powder!
As far as the colonoscopy itself, it went fine, and my poop shoot [It’s chute, you dumb tit-ed.] is as clean as a whistle. Sure, a foul-smelling, gamey whistle that resembles a dead rat on the road but is in fine working condition regardless. See you in 10 years, doc!
You know I’m the foo! Thanks G.
Of course, this leads me to have more tests to see what is going on with my gallbladder, and the same doctor would do that surgery, so maybe I’ll see him sooner rather than later.
O.R. Nurse: Is this your first time?
Me: Yeah, but my wife went through a pretty intense pegging phase in the late 90s, so I can take it.
OK, none of that ever happened, but it was on my mind for sure.
I am the king of random surreal shit found in the woods. [Trail pics from Sunday]
Anyway, I’m glad to have that bit of the aging process taken care of for bit, and I am anxious to get back on the trails to get my 800 miles in.
Later.