Tag Archives | sorry attempts at humor

Changes and Lack Thereof

“The more things stay the same, the more nothing changes.” – Me (I think)

Not much has changed in life since my last post here. The whole bank card fraud thing is still hanging out there as the bank conducts its investigation, and in the meantime, we’ve been given the money back as “provisional credit.” I will sleep much better when it’s officially our money again. But I’ll save that for my other blog, Consumer Banking Today.

Continue Reading →

Goodbye August!

I love summer, but I have to admit that I was glad to see the end of August and all of its swamp-ass heat and humidity. In addition to the stifling heat, each week of the month seemingly had some new problem to face that was out of my control. And in my opinion, there is no worse feeling than being faced with an issue in which you can’t control the outcome.

Continue Reading →

Drained

Oh, Saturday, how I remember you. I did a 22.5-mile dirt road ride from the house and sweat my balls off. I also hit one of my first weight-loss goals (-20 lbs). It was a good day. That lasted until about 11 AM.

Continue Reading →

Some Standards

After adulting most of the day on Tuesday, I was anxious to re-enter the world of underemployed slack on Wednesday with a Standard Gravel™ Ride from the Cul-De-Sac-Shack.

The ride was a short 22.5-mile loop and was pretty “meh.” It wasn’t bad in any way; it was just as the name implies, “standard.” And these days, as I look to regain some shred of fitness, I’ll take feeling good after a quick dirt road ride all day long.

Continue Reading →

Plans Change

July ended with increasing miles on the bike and decreasing numbers on the scale. Still, my plan for Sunday was to take the day off from workouts or rides and just goof off.

That was the plan, then about an hour after I wrote a blog post and started said plan for goofing off, I headed to the Not So Stankment to get on the Dreadmill. In other words, the plan failed.

Continue Reading →

Hitting & Missing Goals

I felt pretty good about my fitness after Saturday’s ride, so I was eager to get back out on Sunday.

I waffled back and forth about whether I wanted to ride from the Cul-De-Sac Shack or ride from a Soiled Chamois Approved Dirt Road Ride Launching Pad south of town. In the end, I decided to try and save time and beat the heat and shadeless sun by leaving from the house. I also hoped to add another mile or two to my Better Than The Trainer Ride™ along the way and help it lose said moniker.

Continue Reading →

Ready To Canoodle

Shortly after hitting the publish button on my last post and digesting my daily Soiled Egg (White) Sammich, I gathered my bottles and gear, found my fender, stuffed myself into some too-small bibs and the only jersey I have that fits, and headed out for a SLIGHTLY Better Than The Trainer Ride™ before any rain moved back into the area.

Continue Reading →

Summiting II

This all seems very familiar to me. And by “this,” I mean writing a post about something I did 2 days ago and now having little desire to write about. And not just because it wasn’t that interesting!

Yet, I still write. Sorry.

Continue Reading →

Doing Both

My Monday was filled with all the business that Monday brings, so I was confined to the Dreadmill™ for 3 miles of lumbering and sweating my ass off to the latest techno “hits” featuring “a good beat that you can dance to,” all the while trying not to fall off the damn thing to become another sad A.A.R.P. treadmill statistic. 

*Let us now bow our heads and remember all of our geriatric brothers and sisters who have fallen whilst booty-shaking on treadmills.*

Continue Reading →

What Direction?

For better or worse, I was on a bit of a roll with posting. Then I didn’t for a few days; now I don’t know where to begin. Shit.

From what I can remember, I’ve been balls deep into watching my food intake and working out every single blessed goddamn day like I’m an Olympian as I try to lose the weight that so cleverly attached itself to me via years of being on the antidepressant hamster wheel. 

Continue Reading →

Powered by WordPress. Designed by Woo Themes