Soiled Balls


You might think that this is yet another installment of the super unpopular blog post series Crush Pasta (see Crush Pasta I and II), and it very well could be, but it’s not. This one’s about balls, as in meatballs.

I’ve been talking about meatballs for nearly as long as I have produced this blog, but since there’s nothing more fun than beating a dead horse [flogging the bishop?], I’m gonna do it again today. I have long experimented with my Soiled Spinach Turkey Balls and continue to make them to this day, but I have also branched out and started to embrace balls of all meats and ingredients*. Like the ones I made last night (seen in the ill taken, ill processed photo above).

Last night’s Soiled Balls™ were a meaty mash-up of ground beef, ground pork and hot sausage with some Italian seasoning, bread crumbs, Kosher salt, black pepper, an egg and some garlic powder. I have no idea what the measurements for any of it were, all I know is that they were freaking bad ass and would have the likes of 2013 Giro d’Italia winner Vincenzo Nibali fist pumping and shouting out their praises. “Polpette! Polpette! Andoro le palle sporche! Cazzo polpette!”


Speaking of the Giro and Italian food, I am kicking around the idea of a celebrating the 2014 Giro by making and/or eating at least one Italian influenced meal for every day of the Giro (not including rest days). Of course the Giro stupidly starting in Ireland (Seriously, what the fuck?) is going to throw a wrench in that. Do I make Italian or something Irish? Wait, forget that, I’ll stick with Italian. All of this will be no easy task as I am not Italian in the least.

Just another dumb idea of mine to fill the void between now and the end of days.

*The Soiled Chamois and Soiled Chamois Productions is an Equal Opportunity Meat Baller (EOMB) in accordance with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

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