Today’s 6.10-mile lumber was dank, grey, and fairly lifeless in the woods. I saw a couple deer sprinting away from a distance and a black-capped chickadee flitting around in some brush, and that was it. I took one shitty photo which is not shown here due to said shittiness. Instead you get a backyard Turdus captured weeks ago.
Thursday morning, Jake (The Dog) woke me up out of sound sleep just before the alarm with one of his patented Wookie growls that sounds like Chewbacca is being “taken” against his will in the showers of a Death Star prison. This is Jake’s way of telling me that it’s time for me to get my flaccid white man ass downstairs and haul his ass out in the yard to pee. It’s a startling way to awaken, to say the least.
Slippers on, gutchies buttoned up, flashlight between the teeth, and Jake slung over my left arm (the one with rampant tendonitis in the elbow from doing this 4+ times a day, every day), I threw open the back door, stepped out into the darkness, and there they were.
First Flakes: Thursday, November 21st at 6:02 AM
Mark it, dude.
Today kicks off firearms deer season here in Michigan. That means that people such as myself who lumber around the woods in the early morning have to use extra caution so as not to have our chests ripped open by a Super Shock Tip bullet (I hear they’re killer!)
Because Michigan gotta Michigan, the weather has turned from a warm, 50˚ hike on Monday morning to a clear and frosty 27˚ lumber on Wednesday, to a soggy lumber in a steady rain and 40˚ temps on Thursday.
I’M ON A ROLLERCOASTER OF CLIMATE-INDUCED EMOTIONS!!!
As I recently posted, Monday morning’s 6-mile lumber was an unusually warm one. However, a few hours later, the winds picked up, and the temps dropped as if they were blowing directly from the frigid teat of a witch (the one that lives in a shed just outside of Zama City, Alberta).
With that, Tuesday morning’s 6-mile lumber was a cold one and a full 20˚ colder than the day before. Ahhh… normality. Well, at least weather-wise.
After I finished tending to the last of the leaves on Friday, I showered and headed out for weekend provisions. That would be the last time I left the open borders of the Cul De Sac Shack for 48 hours.
No, I wasn’t depressed and hunkered down in The Bed of Torment or hiding out from the roving gangs of newly deputized MAGA Brownshirts rounding up the Libs, freethinkers, educated, and creatives for the internment camps; I simply had no reason to go out—so I didn’t. And it was pretty darn OK.
Was it the worst best week ever or the best worst week ever? I dunno.
I’M NOT GOING TO WRITE ABOUT IT.
I’M NOT GOING TO WRITE ABOUT IT.
I’M NOT GOING TO WRITE ABOUT IT.
I’M NOT GOING TO WRITE ABOUT IT.
I’M NOT GOING TO WRITE ABOUT IT.
I swear, not today.
I was up and in the woods at 7:30 AM today with 500 lumens strapped to my head, a full 40+ minutes before the sun fully rose.
It’s been a good 15 years since I consistently recreated outdoors in the dark. However, I’m in the Fall stretch of the 2024 Lumber Through Hell Tour, as well as the actual Living Hell that is 2024 America. So, I like to get out for my lumbers, home to run any errands, and back inside before the bulk of rightwing, mid-Michigan rim-lickers start their day of stupidity and fascist idol-worshiping.
It’s been over two weeks since I wrote my last post, and the world is still spinning, so I can confirm that my near-daily blatherings and crap photos of my old guy micro-adventures are not what keeps it doing so.
