Archive | Outdoors

Alternative Happy Places

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____

I remember going to church when I was younger; I can still remember the smells of musty old men in sad suits that had been farted in a million times, granny perfumes, and wafting incense as the congregation robotically recited prayers that were beaten into brains since birth with the use of fear and guilt.

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BANG! BANG!

Winter is not over. That much I’m sure of; this is Michigan after all, land of May snow flurries, and June sweater wearing. However, on Sunday, we got a nice reprieve from the grey skies and the sort of snow, sort of ice, frozen ejaculate that a modern-day mid-Michigan winter spews, with some blue skies, sunshine, and improved temps.

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Mindbenders & Burritos

OK, I’ve sat, drank coffee, and poked around the societal and moral train wrecks that are NSFW Reddit pages long enough; it’s time to get to the gym before the students wake up, and the lunch break, New Year’s resolution hordes descend upon my go-to machines.

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Shrunken Flaccidity

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I have returned. It’s probably more like an unwanted erection rising briefly before returning to a life of shrunken flaccidity betweenst a fatty pubis, but I think you know what I’m getting at.

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Pre Thundersnow Thanks

Lately, I’ve been a bit too lax in my updates on doing stuff. Mostly because I realize now—more than ever—that no one wants to read about a chubby, fair-weather cycling slacker who spends most of his time wandering around the woods with his camera and lifting heavy things for no reason in the gym. But hey, there are pictures!

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What Do You Call It?

Unlike you, part of me misses when I blogged almost every day. If for no other reason, I can’t remember what I did or rather didn’t do after a few days. Especially when the gloomy days have been nearly all the same for the past week. Such is life in the dank pre-winter of mid-Michigan.

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No Future From the Past

One of the worst things about my brain—and there are many—is that I don’t see the future. That’s not some suicide watch bullshit, that is just me saying that beyond the vision of my son graduating high school and moving on to college in a few years, I see nothing other than what is on my calendar next week.

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