Tag Archives | unfunny commentary

Putting A Bird on January

Even by my extremely low standards, last week was not a great week in my world of quinquagenarian, repetitive, borderline autistic, outdoor fitness micro-adventures. Between multiple days of extreme cold and one day of bad luck trying to get to the trails, I found myself on the treadmill in the basement three times last week, including before the football started on Saturday morning. That’s three more times than I wanted.

With that said, my winter beer belly recently informed me that I needed to get back to running and high-intensity heart rate Zone 3 and 4-type shit, so I guess it wasn’t all bad. After a month or so of slow, wintry slogs, it felt good to see my heart rate hitting 160 or more during my intervals. And I didn’t stroke out and get shot off the back of the treadmill like a belt-propelled fatty turd, so that’s a bonus.

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Back in The Woods

After a few days out of the woods and in the Not So Stankment on the treadmill, it was awesome to return to lumbering outside on Thursday morning and doing 5.28 miles as the flakes fell. And the temps were 20 degrees warmer, which felt like a heatwave compared to -2˚ earlier in the week.

The lumpy snow and ice continue to make for slow speeds as well as doing a number on my ankles, knees, and hips, but compared to past winters where I was dealing with such things as raging plantar fasciitis in both feet and a painful corn that wouldn’t heal on a pinky toe, things aren’t too bad.

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Almost is Not Good Enough

It should be pretty apparent by this post that I’ve reached the point in the winter where madness is setting in, and I have nothing to say, but I force myself to write and post something so that I can use my brain for something other than cleaning a toilet and talking to the dog. – Management

Wednesday 8:19 AM

I hadn’t been in the woods to lumber since last Friday morning, so as you might imagine, I was looking forward to throwing caution to the wind, layering up with my best crap cold weather gear, and heading out into the -2˚ temps this morning to get a few miles in my feetz.

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Starting Somewhere

My three-day streak of nothingness continues (sort of).

The 2025 Ignorance is Bliss Tour (#stayignernt) has hit a snag in the form of no actual lumbering happening outdoors due to the extreme cold and my lack of owning “extreme” cold weather gear. I’m pretty good with the stuff I have down into the single digits, but extended time below-zero type stuff starts to be “shit for the birds,” as Grandma Helen used to say. I also have little desire to be out in such temps, especially since my camera battery would hold a charge for about 10 minutes in -4˚ temps (the temp as of 8:25 AM) and leave me with nothing to distract me from said extreme cold.

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That Time of Year

Two weeks ago, I lumbered over 30 miles and felt great. Last week, I lumbered 20 miles on slippy, lumpy snow and felt like an aching bag of shit by the end. Come the weekend, I sat my fat ass inside and did nothing. Then, I woke up Monday morning at 6 AM, rolled over, farted twice, looked at the -1˚ weather icon on my phone, and said, “fuck it.”

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Shortened Goals, Finished Leftovers

I wish I had something of interest to blather on about, but alas, things have been “samey” here the past few days years: get up in the dark, feed Lola, coffee up, dump out, layer up, drive to the trails, lumber for 4 miles in the snow, have it feel like 10, go home, wish for spring, make a cappuccino, shower, get my shit done, and then end the day watching football. Followed by making food, having a beer, going to bed, and doing it all again the next day.

On the one hand, that’s a pretty good day; on the other hand, it’s a prime example of trying to make the best out of the long, cold, dark month of January. It’s survival mode, with one eye on spring and the other on the dismal weather forecast.

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Broken Acceptance

Tuesday was another morning of stuffing myself into cold-weather gear and begrudgingly heading out for a lumber in temps, struggling to make it into the double digits. However, I was quick to realize that, outside of a four-hour flight to Jamaica, there’s no place I’d rather be heading off to on a Tuesday morning.

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Post-Slack Returns

Before I blather on for no reason whatsoever about the mundane, goofball stuff I do, I wanted to take a second to give a shout-out to the readers and folks I’ve got to know over the years from the Los Angeles and Southern California area. I hope you, your families, and your homes are all safe. Be careful out there.

OK, now on, with tales of my blissful ignorance whilst walking in the woods with my camera.

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Karma And The Cathy’s

The first full week of the 2025 Ignorance is Bliss Tour is in the books, and I have to say it went pretty darn not bad.

I got out Friday morning at the ass crack of dawn, which isn’t actually all that ass-cracky, given the sun doesn’t fully rise until after 8 AM, but still, I was out, and it was pretty early.

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