It’s been a chill weekend, and I now find myself here early Sunday morning with no footy to watch, no hike planned, the grass already cut, and a large coffee in hand, so I felt the need to write about a trip to the grocery store the other day. Because isn’t that what people do on a Sunday morning?
Enter the Soiled Wayback Machine, and let’s travel back to a couple of days ago as I blather on about things completely unrelated to cycling, hiking, or photography.
On Friday, I once again found myself at Meijer (AKA the cleaner midwestern version of Walmart that sells produce that actually looks edible). As I stood in the checkout line, my eyes wandered toward the self-checkout area, assessing to see if I had made a mistake by getting into Anne B.’s line.
As I gazed, I noticed a young woman, roughly 19-22 years old, standing in the self-checkout line with what looked to be her mother or grandmother. She was reasonably attractive, I guess, in that she wore too much makeup, had too much hair, and her lips looked like she burned them on a curling iron to get them that insanely pouty. Seriously, how do they do it?
Soon, I found that I couldn’t look away from her. My eyes were transfixed! No, no, I wasn’t further perfecting my unwanted Male Gaze; I couldn’t look away from her taking selfies while standing in line at fucking Meijer—at 10:45 in the fucking morning.
I stared with mouth agape as she took selfie after selfie, surrounded by other customers, as she tried to find the perfect photo to post on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or Tinder, you decide. She messed her hair, did the duck lips thing (obviously), and flashed various smiles (with and without teeth) as she attempted to capture just the right mood for her Meijer self-checkout line selfie.
There were shots from above, shots taken in profile, and shots from below that were no doubt deleted immediately.
Her mother/grandmother seemed very unfazed by it all, so I can only imagine that she is pretty used to this constant selfie-taking.
I, on the other hand, was taken aback. “Who has that much self-confidence?” I thought as I continued to stare whilst reaching for the plastic order divider thing-a-ma-jig.
Eventually, she got the right shot (“Such a hottie!” will be the first comment made on her post by her bestie, Hailey. Followed by “Beautiful girl!” by her Aunt Marcy, who lives over in the thumb), and I returned, placing my items on the belt as Anne B. unenthusiastically greeted me.
As I watched Anne B. scan my items, my mind went back to Selfie Girl, and I remembered something I read years ago about young people’s obsession with selfies.
I remember very little from that article, but the gist of the piece was that, no, today’s young people are not steeped in narcissism; it’s just that technology and their phones give them access to share photos of themselves without needing someone’s stamp of approval on their attractiveness (insert pot looking at kettle here), and that in many ways it’s actually boosting self-confidence in young people.
Self-confidence is something that, if you grew up in the 70s or 80s (or maybe it was just my personal environment), young people were, let’s say, “encouraged” (mostly through shame and belittling) not to have because no one (including God) thinks you should be proud of your looks, and confidence is NOT something “good kids” should have or “people will think you’re cocky.”
As the last of my groceries were placed in the cart (Anne B. noted, “Your eggs are on top”), my mind finished up this lengthy checkout line observance. I quickly recognized that there are two sides to every coin, and maybe even more, when talking about young people and the pitfalls of social media. I also recognize that, for all I know, that article I read was written by someone with the last name Zuckerberg.
But having said that, In those few minutes, I went from “Oh my gawd, look at Maddie taking selfies in Meijer” to “Do what you want, girl; you don’t need some fat old white dude with 53 years worth of low self-confidence judging you.”
I also quickly remembered that I, like 99% of the world, have taken my share of selfies; too many, and I hate almost all of them. Of course, I’ve never done one in the Meijer self-checkout line at 10:45 AM, but it’s been done on trails and in trailhead parking lots quite often, and I ALWAYS delete the shots taken from below.
How DO I get my lips so pouty???
Stay tuned for my next post about a dude I saw taking dick pics while in line at Sam’s Club. He, on the other hand, should not be so confident.
Later.
PS, if you read this far, you deserve a medal. Or at least access to the knowledge of how to make a Soiled Buffalo Chicken Pita Pizza. #Cat5Cooking
