I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: it doesn’t matter if you have to go to work or school or not; Monday’s vibes are always shit.
5:45 AM Jake (the dog) was up before the coffee maker and whining for something. So that means I was up at 5:45 AM before the coffee maker and taking him outside in the dark, with my morning routine off to a poor start.
6:00 AM Feed the dogs, try not to gag from the smell of “lamb and rice” dog food, and get them outside for poopin’. Then Lola runs upstairs to get into bed with Wifey, and I am left with Jake.
6:15 AM I use the bathroom, and when I come out, I hear a loud, horrible, high-pitched buzzing and screeching in the house and soon realize that it’s coming from my speakers in the living room, even though nothing is on. Strange.
7:05 AM POW!-POW!-POW!-POW! POW!-POW! POW!-POW!-POW!
Is someone out the road seriously setting off fireworks at dawn? Or did a local Defender of the Constitution, Trumpian “patriot” nutjob, get tread upon and start giddily exercising his 2nd amendment right to kill at this early hour?
7:10 AM Jake is whining again, so I take him outside. He does nothing.
7:15 AM I put a bagel in the toaster and cracked two eggs. One of the egg yolks breaks, so I add another. I then burn the eggs and the bagel. I pause, take a deep breath, and start over. I make shitty scrambled eggs and eat.
7:35 AM POW!-POW!-POW!-POW! POW!-POW! POW!-POW!-POW!
Seriously, we’re still doing this?
7:45 AM Jake is whining again; I don’t know what to do, so I let him keep on doing it.
7:50 AM I regret deciding to take Labor Day off from “doing stuff” and look a the interwebs.
7:55 AM POW!-POW!-POW!-POW! POW!-POW! POW!-POW!-POW!
7:56 AM I realize that it’s September and Google “Goose Hunting Michigan.” Yep, that’s it. Caleb and Ronnie (more than likely also local Defenders of the Constitution, Trumpian “patriot” nutjobs) are gettin’ their limit of geese in a nearby farm field. I hope they get Salmonella.
8:00 AM Jake is whining again, and I have to poop.
8:25 AM I want to go back to bed so bad, but it’s a beautiful sunny day, and I won’t sleep; I will stew, and that is Bed of Torment-type stuff, and I won’t allow it, especially with my 2nd anniversary of ditching said bed coming up on the 19th.
8:40 AM I cover Jake with his Our Lady of Guadalupe blanket (don’t ask), and he seems to have stopped whining. I think he was cold; the thermostat says it’s 63˚ in the house. I should have closed the living room windows last night.
8:45 AM I clean the kitchen and living room while Wifey and Lola (the dog) take advantage of the day off and sleep in.
I should have gone for a lumber. I’ve been up for three hours and want the day to be over.
Mondays, am I right?
Later.