Jake (the dog) never waits too long at the door before he’s back in the house to do what Jake (the dog) does best: sleep, fart, snore, eat, burp and sleep some more more before going back out to take a dump. And I did’t wait too long after Sunday’s blunderful crash to get back at trying to burn off the fleshy kegs attached to all sides of my torso. However, I did wait longer than I thought I would have to.
I went to bed Sunday night with plans of going to the gym in the morning, but when I woke up Monday, I was super stiff and more than a little sore. My neck hurts pretty bad from the whiplash it went through before my head hit the ground (come to think of it, my head hurts a bit too), and my right love handle is swollen twice its already too-big size. So I aborted the gym and just took to icing my giant flub handled back and doing my husbandly duties (which sadly involved none of the “fun” duties that require me to be at least semi-naked or in a gimp mask).
The ice–along with some Tylenol–helped a bit for the swelling and pain and I was feeling better about the prospects of burning off some calories in the morning. My original plan was to ride, but more heavy storms were in the area, so I headed to the gym. Aside from feeling like I had a 13 pound ham attached to my right side and that everyone in the gym was staring and laughing the cured pork product hanging from me like an elephantised, scrotal sack, everything went pretty swell. The only workout that bothered me was the chest press. It sort of felt like I was laying on an orange.
There is still a bit of pain, but hey, nothing is broke (including my bike) and things could have been worse, so I’m not gonna bitch or talk about it any more. Especially after I watched this video below.
Later.
Jake (the dog) photo: by me.
Hame photo: Google search “ham,” don’t Google search “elephantised, scrotal sack.” **
Video: Global Cycling Network
**I’m willing to bet at least ONE reader Googled “elephantised, scrotal sack.” Good for you, I warned you.