Tag Archives | jake the dog

Let There Be Routine


Looking back, last week is a blur. Mostly because life and riding was all over the place; B-Man off one day, Wifey off another, high winds that made the prospect of riding very unattractive, and spending many an evening with a drink in my hand in front of the TV playing EA Sports FIFA to take my mind off the pending demise of our country at the hand of a bad haired, orange, dictator-like buffoon. But that’s over and done with, time to move on, to let the chips fall where they may, and to get back to a routine that includes riding, time in the woods, working out, and not seeking refuge in a bottle.

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Happy Birthday!


Happy fourth birthday to Jake (the dog)! My furry, snoring, smelly, farting, friend that I seem to spend more time with then any one human these days. He drives me crazy some days, but I still love him.

The Struggle (Not Really)


There has been a real lack of activity the past few days, so blogging has been on the back burner. I mean do you really want to read endless blog posts on how I am now in the midst of an obsession with bastardizing Chinese and Asian cuisine to the point in which they are unrecognizable? Probably not, so I save that for Exchange-O-Gram. Do you really want to read endless comments about football, how eating hot dogs at 11 PM gave me gas, and complaints about life’s minor annoyances? Probably not, so I save that for the Twitters.

I have been struggling to find topics to write about as well as the time to write about them the past few days, so I have been laying low [the web now breathes a world-wide sigh of relief].

Until now [digital boo].


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Lost For Time


I rode 47 miles of dirt roads and pavement today; it was swell. Then I showered, went for groceries, made dinner, did some laundry, took B to soccer practice (a half hour early of course to kick the ball around) and then met up with a friend of mine at a pub a couple blocks from home to chat over a few Duvels. All and all a pretty good Thursday.

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Not Yet (A Story of Two Jakes)


My Monday turned a bit nutso as Jake (the dog) went and got himself a yeast infection that required an emergency trip to the vet. I told him he was asking for it with his muscular, thick thighs and want to wear too tight, humid, crotch-jungle inducing leather pants, but he insisted on wearing them anyway. Stupid dog!

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That Sort of Day


Yesterday was my typical and not-so typical Monday. Typically, I was super busy with stuff through the day but oddly enough, in the evening I found myself out at a local watering hole with a couple of friends. Believe me, that is NOT a typical Monday evening for me, but Wifey was throwing a “welcome party” (I had to Google that) for a woman she works with that just adopted a little boy and wanted me out of house, as was going to be overrun with lady folk, and she was pretty sure I would just sit around farting and burping while they were here. As luck would have it, a couple of my college teaching friends were up for going out since their students are doing nothing but taking finals right now and they can goof off a bit.

So, I was able to waste a couple of hours, catch up with some friends and drink a few good beers on Monday night. An unusual Monday night for me, but fun nonetheless.

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Jake (the dog) never waits too long at the door before he’s back in the house to do what Jake (the dog) does best: sleep, fart, snore, eat, burp and sleep some more more before going back out to take a dump. And I did’t wait too long after Sunday’s blunderful crash to get back at trying to burn off the fleshy kegs attached to all sides of my torso. However, I did wait longer than I thought I would have to.

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Shamed Into The Cold


A well used ceramic space heater sat humming at my feet as I sat sipping my third cup of coffee and staring blankly into my computer monitor. I had long given up on it producing anything worth while and now aimlessly clicked through dead-end after dead-end on Monster.com, hyperbolic football gossip on The Daily Mail and finally full circle back to weather.com where I had started my morning off three hours earlier.  I was pleased to see that it was warming up, however I was disappointed to see that all that meant was that it was now 4˚ and not -4˚. Thoughts of climbing on the trainer in my basement now entered my head as I took a big sip of my now ice-cold coffee. Fuck.

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Oh, Jake…


This quote pretty much sums up Jake (the dog)…

Bulldogs aren’t noisy in the same way that other breeds can be noisy, meaning they are generally not ‘barkers’. However, they are known to snore, grunt, belch, and pass gas.

I wish I could say that Jake never barked. Sadly, he does. In particular when there is a stranger (in his world) in the house. Case in point: my father in-law is visiting this weekend for B-Man’s baptism. Yeah, after almost 10 years, B-Man is finally being Christened (you can blame his heathen parents me for that. I wanted it to be his decision and not make him born into a religion… he asked, we said yes). Jake is not too keen on the idea (a visitor in the house, not the Christening… I don’t believe Jake has any real issues with Christianity or Catholicism, but I really don’t know).

Anyway, there has been way more barking than usual, until RIGHT now…. Now,  Jake is laying on my lap, numbing my legs, enjoying life and soaking up the heat from my under the desk space heater whilst I type this blurb of nothingness. Before you ask, YES, I have been farted on.



Um…Sort of Back At it?

I’d like to say that I went on some badass, long winter ride today, but that would be total bullshit. I actually spent the day doing what any unemployed fuckwad would do; shoveling snow, taking Wifey’s car back to the mechanic, doing some grocery shopping, going to the gym and doing the family laundry. Life can end now… I’m sooo OK with that…


On the plus side, I took this photo of Jake The Dog through the glass of the back door as he looked up at me with his snow-covered mush saying “What the fuck dude? Let me in! It’s fucking cold out here!!”

Who knows what excitement tomorrow may hold for me!!


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