In Praise of The Avocado


Pre-blog post note of sadness, guilt, regret and admission to you that the following has shit all to do with cycling, save for a tiny, tiny sliver.

Ma Nature decided welcome in March by puking down upwards of 8 inches of fresh snow and wind all day today. As I type at 7:25 E.C.T. (Easter Chamois Time) it continues to puke down and I have no doubt that B’s school will be is cancelled tomorrow. March; in like a dead, frozen, one-legged fucking lion. With that said, the only riding I did today was another sweaty hour on the trainer in the Stankment™.


Post kitchen painting still life.

After that it was getting some web work done for the shop, pointlessly snow blowing the driveway (twice), and painting the kitchen ceiling after 5 months of procrastination.

Onto the real reason you came here…

I am a total man whore for burritos. Even balls deep into Day II of Fit to Fat and Back–which should actually be called Fat to Fit to Fat and Back, but isn’t because it’s too freaking long–I adjusted my macros to allow for two of those lovely, flour tortilla wrapped, beef and bean filled vessels of hot and spicy Mexican food sex.

Even though I make my own burritos, thus knowing what’s in ’em ( super lean ground beef, diced onion, diced red & green peppers, and black beans along with a spoonful of my homemade Mexican seasoning), I still faced two conundrums as I set about making them–

1. Should I use two XL flour tortillas I have–thus saving myself 420 calories–or just make some sort of Burrito Vomit Bowl?

2. Should I use a 1/2 cup of reduced fat shredded Mexican cheese inside or lace the innards with some smashed avocado?

Common sense would say ditch the shit ton of pretty useless calories in the flour tortillas, but what’s a burrito without a badass tortilla? Sure, I could have got some of those low-fat, low carb, low-calorie, low-taste, born in a test tube tortillas, but those things taste like they were soaked in formaldehyde and hog urine. No, the tortillas stay.


Jake (the dog) cares little for this weather, this stupid post about avocados… or me.

The cheese. I love cheese, and two days ago I would have loaded each burrito up with a handful handfuls of cheese AND the avocado. But, since apparently I’ve spent the past six months doing crap rides with my head stuck into a feedbag permanently filled with pasta, pizza, craft beer, and gin, I now have to watch what I shove into my fat face. So I opted to go with the avocado. Not because I was saving a bunch of fat or calories, but since the tortillas were non-negotiable, I had to make a choice and preferred to error on the side of all-round nutrition rather than just fatty goodness. Since I had been going through an avocado toast breakfast fetish recently and the green, ball sack looking things have been on sale lately, I had a couple ripe ones on hand and wanted to start using them before they went bad.

The cheese and avocado facts no one wanted to read on this blog, or any other blog for that matter…

One half cup of reduced fat Mexican shredded cheese split between two burritos:

Calories 160
Fat 10g
Saturated fat 6g
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 30g
Sodium 220mg
Carbs 0g
Fiber 0g
Sugars 0g
Protein 14g

One half of a medium avocado mashed and split between two of the aforementioned lovely, flour tortilla wrapped, beef and bean filled vessels of hot and spicy Mexican food sex:

Calories 130
Fat 12g
Saturated fat 2g
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 0g
Sodium 5mg
Carbs 6g
Fiber 5g
Sugars 0g
Protein 1g

In addition to all that, they have a crap ton of vitamins and minerals that cheese doesn’t. Sure, it doesn’t have that much protein, but since I was eating this with 90% lean ground meat and black beans that really wasn’t an issue.

Some of the stats are negligible, but the avocado scores big wins with fiber, good fat, low saturated fat, no cholesterol, and low sodium. The avocado really is a nutritional 8 Ball, and in the end I was happy to leave out the cheese. Next time I may even limit myself to ONE burrito. No way! I’d rather just ride more. Or fire up a case of bulimia, either way.


Cheese source: Back of package. Avocado source:

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