A Squirrel, a Cat, a Garage & Crap


To say this week was less than stellar for “real” riding would be an understatement. My week thus far has consisted of three rides on the trainer and one “run” on the treadmill. In other words it was a week of shitty, fake exercise.

B-Man was not himself during what is his his birthday week. He slept a lot and even took an afterschool nap the other day, which is very unlike him. B usually chooses to get his homework done, hang out with his friends at the library or kill shit on his Xbox before soccer or basketball practice. This week, not so much. One day he said he felt sick, 12 hours later he said he felt fine. Damn (now) eleven year olds!!  Still, with not knowing if he was coming down with something or not, I didn’t want to venture too far away home base in case the school called saying he just puked on himself or something. So, my now weekly ride with Napper didn’t happen. Shit balls!

The most depressing thing about not doing anything real is that there is NOTHING to take pics of or write about. Case in point, all we have today is a pic of a rat squirrel I caught running on my aging garage as I tried to catch a glimpse of my neighbor’s boobs as she exited the shower (I’M JOKING!!! JESUS!!) and a pic of one of the feral cats who is living inside the same aging garage. None of the furry varmints offered to paint the old ass f*cker though. Dirt bags.


That is why I sort of hope that the cats eat the squirrels and the neighbor’s ever barking, big ass dogs have their way with the cats. Actually I hope for none of that, but I felt it needed to be said. Even though I’m more of a dog person, I like the cats and wouldn’t mind if they joined Jake (the dog) and the family inside. I just don’t want to deal with catching them, taking them to the vet, and dealing with them “spraying” my house as they adjust. Fuck it, a can of skank tuna now and then and allowing them to hole up in my crap garage will have to be enough. Now paint that f*cker before the animal control people swarm!!

I’m hoping to get outside and do something–ANYTHING–in the coming days. To ride the fatty, snowshoe, or something. Anything that isn’t me in the freaking basement pretending to do real exercise.

While nothing real happened this week, I did manage 5-ish+ hours of “doing stuff” so far, with three more days to go. If there is one thing I know, it’s that NONE of this will transfer to on the bike fitness come spring or weight loss. Still, doing SOMETHING is better than nothing. Maybe… I guess? All part of my plan to be the fittest fat man in Michiganderburgh. Now someone fetch me a skank can of tuna, Daddy’s hungry.


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