It should be pretty apparent by this post that I’ve reached the point in the winter where madness is setting in, and I have nothing to say, but I force myself to write and post something so that I can use my brain for something other than cleaning a toilet and talking to the dog. – Management
Wednesday 8:19 AM
I hadn’t been in the woods to lumber since last Friday morning, so as you might imagine, I was looking forward to throwing caution to the wind, layering up with my best crap cold weather gear, and heading out into the -2˚ temps this morning to get a few miles in my feetz.
After 20 minutes of layering up with tights, XC ski pants, a base layer, wool socks, jacket, hat, gloves, boots, and a snood, I was out the door like a stuffed sausage.
I took my usual way to the trails, which are a combination of well-used paved roads and some dirt side roads. I made the right turn, just down the road from the park, and saw three cars in various states of disrepair, multiple police vehicles, and a dead deer all RIGHT in front of the entrance to the park. Shit.
There are a couple other entrances to the park, but they require parking in the grass off the side of the road, and with snow and ice on the ground, I’m not willing to risk getting Escape II (Electric Boogaloo) stuck.
I figured how long it could take for the police to write up an accident report (says the man who has never written up an accident report involving multiple cars and a dead deer on the side of a road in -0˚ temps), so I turned up the music and drove a big ol’ loop until I was back in front of the park 15 minutes later. They were still there.
Given I would look like a real piece of shit asking multiple wrecked cars, various police, and a dead deer to move so I could get my fat ass into the park to hike 4 or 5 miles whilst freezing my tits off; I drove home, cursing my bad luck all while realizing my good luck at not being involved in whatever the fuck happened in front of the park entrance a bit earlier.
Once home, I got out of the 300 layers of clothing I had on, did some rage cleaning, chatted with Wifey in between phone calls in her home office, and attempted some stain removal on a couple shirts of mine (I’m an olive oil magnet) as I formulated a plan to “do stuff” that may involve one of the following:
Lumbering on the treadmill.- “Running” intervals on the treadmill.
Riding on the trainer.Going back to bed until spring.Making new videos to post on my Only Fans account.
Wednesday 10:24 AM
After cleaning the downstairs bathroom, I needed to blow off some steam to forget that it’s -2˚ outside, and I just cleaned vile shit shmeg out of a toilet bowl.
So, I put some running gutchies on and headed down to the Not So Stankment to bust out another 3 miles of intervals, with my “fast” intervals being 7 MPH, which for someone my size and girth (not the good kind) makes me feel like a runaway truck about to smash into a brick wall. Only this runaway truck is red-faced, covered in sweat, panting, cursing my very existence upon this wretched earth, and about to blow a heart valve across the room like a ricocheting bullet. (Too much hyperbole? NEVER!)
It was a mental blow to get dressed, drive to the trails, and NOT lumber, but I salvaged something and had the chance to actively piss in the ocean of blubber that I carry around.
Wednesday 12:10 PM
Speaking of my blubber, later on, I put the fat in my Fat and Fit lifestyle by making a couple tacos with some of the leftover shredded pork and refried beans I made yesterday. Good thing I cleaned that toilet today, ’cause I’m going to destroy it after tomorrow morning’s coffee.
Note: The intro photo was take a couple weeks ago, and this is an alternate shot/edit. You can see the original HERE. Also, Cat 5 Cooking notes with vague, pretty useless directions are below for anyone that gives a shit.
Later
Cat 5 Cooking Notes:
BEANS: The homemade refried beans were made with a pound of dry pinto beans, water, chicken stock, spices, and sautéed onions and garlic. Cooked in the Instant Pot for 45 minutes on high, with 25 minutes of natural pressure release. Then, the excess water/stock was drained, and I used an immersion blender to get them to the consistency I wanted. This amount of beans should last me a few days depending on how my colon reacts.
PORK: The pork was made using a package of inexpensive, boneless country-style spare ribs rubbed with Mexican spices and seared on each side in the instant pot. Then I removed them, deglazed the pot with some stock, added the pot’s trivet, and then added the pork back in. Then, they were cooked on high for 25 minutes with another 10 minutes of natural pressure release. Once done, the pork just falls apart and makes great burritos (last night) and tacos (today’s lunch).
I don’t always use an Instant Pot, but when I do, I make some pretty good White Trash Mexican food.