Archive | Outdoors

The Winter Contingency Act

I started the 2022 Not Dead Yet Comeback Special (now the 2023 Soil The Woods Tour) a little over five months and 540 miles ago, and I have to say, outside of some nagging injuries here and there, the past few weeks have been the hardest.

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Stomps of The Week

In the wake of last Monday night’s horrific events in East Lansing, it was nice to have B back under our roof for a few days. It was also nice to let go of some negative emotions and rage by stomping out some miles in the woods.

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Miles on The Brain

I knew I would struggle to get 25 miles in my feet last week, but I didn’t foresee it going quite so poorly; melting snow followed by 24 hours of heavy rain, followed by a return to below-freezing temps, had the trails alternating between slippy mashed potato snow and solid ice that crushed and snapped underfoot as I trekked over them with mico spikes strapped on my shoes.

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The First 500

It’s been a nugget hair under 5 months since I traded my increasingly little used soiled chamois and/or The Bed of Torment for a pair of hiking shoes. In that time, I have grown to appreciate hiking (also known as walking if you’re not in the woods) in a way I never did before, and I now find myself in the woods hiking 4 to 5 miles a day, 6 to 7 days a week, with a modest goal of 25 miles per week minimum. Except for snow week curveballs like last week. 

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More Snow & Funk 45s

The more things stay the same, the more you want to drive to your local watering hole, hand them your credit card, and not leave until spring or your liver fails. Either way, it’s a win/win situation.

I sort of jest; despite the lack of sunshine, shit weather, and now the addition of 6 more inches of fresh snow on top of what we had, I have not been slowed down from my near-daily hikes and was able to hit my 25-mile goal on Saturday morning with a SLOW 4.5-mile lumber through the woods before the gamey balls of the latest winter storm arrived later that evening.

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Still January, Still Moaning

Same day or a different day? Who the hell knows? It’s Thursday, but I thought it was Wednesday, which was yesterday, the day I thought it was today. It doesn’t matter because it’s cold, dark, and sunless for the 25th day of 2023’s first 26.

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Dreary Hikes & Stiff Ones

With my SSL certificate back in place, I think, THINK!, I have the website back up and running. As with most problems I’ve encountered in my life, I fucked enough shit up that I needed to ask for help; repeatedly until I finally got it sorted. It was like the parable of the leper and the unleavened bread from the 2nd season of Fraggle Rock. I think.

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Migration & Dark Thoughts

Dear Reader,

This post was written several days ago, and for that, I apologize. Both for the delay and for the ongoing shit content. I know there are roughly 1 to 3 people who wake up each day anxious to read about the ongoing exploits of a one-time crap endurance cycling junkie turned unfunny, chubby 51-year-old middle-class slacker white guy. 

The migration of this site to a new host did not go according to plan because I did the exact opposite of what the Tech-Heads were telling me to do at nearly every turn. I’m not very bright, but you know that. Hopefully, things will be back to normal in a day or six.

— Management

With that housekeeping out of the way, five days into the 2023 Soil The Woods Tour, five hikes are done. Praise the dogs!

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