Archive | Random

Whatever

Have you ever been stoned at a party, and some drunk dude is losing his shit? Being an obnoxious dick, picking fights, giving everyone his non-expert opinion, etc. And you just sit in a comfy chair and watch it all unfold with a half-smile on your face, unwilling—and potentially unable—to interject an opinion as Yo La Tengo songs drone on in your head louder than the stereo’s actual volume.

Whether you have or haven’t isn’t all that relevant, but that’s sort of how the past three weeks have felt to me. I’ve logged ONE 13-mile rail-trail ride with Wifey, a couple of walks in the woods, and care little.

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Icebergs

Over the past week or so, I have greeted each day with all the enthusiasm of a one-legged turtle. All of that is based on the assumption that a one-legged turtle would not want to get out of bed, leave the house, talk to people, or lay eyes upon the world as it deservedly turns to ashes after being given chance after chance to make things right.

I realize that this may make me sound like I’m depressed. Oddly enough, I feel quite good, or at least content. I’ll try to explain.

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Up and Down

Homemade black bean burger. #Cat5Cooking

No one likes going to the doctor. Even in my healthiest days many, many, many pounds ago, I wasn’t a fan. Fast forward to age 49, and I am even less of a fan.

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Random Present & Futures

Someday this will all be over. Eventually, I will wake up in the morning and know what day it is, and care what day it is. Someday the country won’t be a polarized and divided dumpster fire, and the name of the orange fuck face in the White House will just be a despicable footnote in the pretty darn, not bad history of our country.

Until that day comes, I will keep doin’ what I do to make life fun: ride bikes, take photos, hike trails, love my wife and kid, watch the footy, drink beer, and make food.

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Sighs, Rubs, & Pulls

I don’t know, man [rubs gelatinous, stubbled cheeks, then eyes, followed by a pull of unkempt hair]. I haven’t been on my bike since Friday, and I don’t know whether I’m happy, moderately upset, almost sad, or not giving a shit about it.

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Slack & Gimping

The week thus far has been nothing but adulting and slack. And if you know me, you know that me and adulting go together like oil and water. There is a school of thought among many that I mentally plateaued in about 7th grade, possibly 6th, but that is a discussion for another post.

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Moist Sunday Slack

With two days of riding, it was time to utilize my spare time for something else on Sunday. That something else started with me sitting on the front porch drinking coffee while watching in piss down rain sideways. It was just the calm and relaxing mental enema I needed. Had I known what was happening simultaneously, I may have forgone that blissful mind-enema and just started shoving beer and/or legalized in the state of Michigan herbal supplements down my throat.

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