Riding Bikes & Breaking Beds

I spent Monday and Tuesday in the shop working Part Time Stay at Home Slack Dad Approved® 5 hour shifts so as to get home in time to pick up B and get him to a home match on Monday and practice on Tuesday.

Working six out of seven days in a row while Rodney was on vacation was good for me. Along with getting some cash money I also learned a lot more about building up bikes due to the Boss Man’s patience with me. However, truing wheels is NOT on the list of things I’m now capable of. Sweet Jesus, I have a better chance of figuring out how to build a rocket ship!

B-Man flying in the air to get the flick on.

As a cyclist, you THINK that working in a bike shop is all sweet $5,000 bikes and knowledgeable customers. In fact, it’s a lot of $100 bikes needing $200 worth of repairs, building $400 comfort bikes, and customers who are pissed off because their bike in need of multiple repairs can’t be worked on while they wait, or because you have X Brand of tubes in stock but not Y Brand. Goddamn it, they like the way X Brand is packaged!! Even though it’s the same tube—probably made in the same factory—just packaged differently.

Hells bells.

I also learned that people ride some pretty amazingly strange, for lack of a better word, bikes; e.g., a vintage 75 pound 26-inch wheeled mountain bike bought in, and transported from, Scotland with huge mismatched bar ends and a bell attached to one of them. DEAR GOD!!!

Since my laziness and schedule didn’t allow me to work in rides on those work days, I was really looking forward to a return to slack for a bit and getting some riding in. So that’s what I did.

After getting B and Wifey out the door for their days, I gathered my thoughts, came to grips with my shortcomings, drank coffee, dumped out and then headed out the door for a Standard Dirt Road Loop from the house.

The early fall day was perfect for riding: sun, blue sky, good temps, and little to no wind. It was the sort of day that you could have happily spent all day out on the bike. Unless you’re me.

It was great to get out, and I felt pretty good. I sort of had a crap day in the picture taking department, but that’s about normal for my 28-mile Standard Dirt Road Loop on a sunny day.

I had a crap-ton of stuff to get done after I got home. Stuff that needed to be put on hold due to an unforeseen issue with our bed. I’ll explain:

After I got home and ate a quick lunch, I went upstairs to get a shower. When I was done, I sat on the bed for a moment looking down at my gut in amazement. That’s when I heard a crack, a snap, and then one side of the mattress and box springs was on the floor. The side with my naked ass on it. OH SHIT!

It seems the worsening unexplained creek that the bed has made for weeks was actually stress on the bed’s sides from the bottom rail supports becoming loose and falling out-of-place. My post-lunch weight was enough to break it. I knew I should have had a salad!!

Soon I was gathering tools and moving the mattress and boxsprings in hopes of a quick fix to avoid the expense of buying a new bed. Just as I was about to sit on the floor and start the project, I realized that it might be a bit odd, and even more dangerous, to set about working on the bed while naked. Too many sagging body parts, dangly bits, and orifices to have around tools and screws. Plus, what if I stroked out while working on it! I can’t imagine the horror that Wifey or B would experience finding their flabby, naked husband/father dead on the floor with power tools and a broken bed. I mean we all have our kink, but nude bed repair is not mine! I’m more of a [edited due to graphic sexual, and frankly ridiculous, comments] sort of guy. What can I say, I like Adidas sneakers.

After I dressed, I got to work, fixed the bed, and now all seems good… I hope. I know that on a good weekend the bed gets its fair share of use, but I didn’t think we were going all angry seal on it.


As much as I wanted to get some more riding in on Thursday, I needed to catch up with all the stuff I that I failed to get done Wednesday due to riding, the bed issue, and an away match in Midland that evening. I have to get tires on the car late Friday morning, but I’m hoping to get a quick early morning ride in.

Looking forward to the weekend, some footy, picture-taking, some riding, and just maybe some angry seal time. If the bed holds. Sorry, not sorry.


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