In my last post I was riding the high of coming off an excellent (enough) month of riding. Because of that high I thought I was mentally prepared for the predicted drop in temperatures, rain, snow, and lack of outside riding that the rest of this week would surely be offering. I was wrong.
Riding three out of four days in February is cherished, even if they yield a mere 75 miles combined. Most of the miles were forced to be done on pavement, due to the dirt roads being a bottom bracket grinding, potential collarbone breaking, concoction of ice, slush, mud, standing water, and gritty sand.
All last week as I “ran” on the Dreadmill™, and spun my wheels going nowhere on the trainer, I set my mind to go down to the Cannonsburg Ski Area to take photos at the fat bike and snowboard races they were hosting. I figured I could use the practice and getting outside would do me good.
Outdoor riding continues to elude me for a variety of reasons; first because of the abundances of rutted ice on many roads, then because it got cold as shit outside and for some reason this winter I am lacking the motivation freeze my tits off. Please note that “lack of motivation” is just code for my laziness, but that’s your call.
You may wonder how the following relates to a cycling blog. Stick with it, I have a point eventually, you just have to sift through some ranting. Keep in mind there is surely a dose of hypocrisy, preachiness, and anger even though in my head it all makes perfect sense. Read at your own risk, or feel free to read something not a crap cycling blog. It’s totally your call.
Over the past few months I haven’t been sleeping very well. There are many “might-bes” and “could-bes,” which include such things as too much coffee, not enough riding, worry that my family’s entire world could come crashing down at any moment, and an ever-growing affection for nihilism. No matter the cause, counting sheep, masturbating, counting sheep masturbating, and masturbating while counting sheep only gets one so far, and I’ve found myself with time to think. This is both good (the time has allowed me to put some creative wheels in motion), and bad (see much of this paragraph). However in addition to all of that I have also had some thoughts that hover in the middle grounds between fond memories, existential ennui, and the want for simpler times.
There has been a distinct lack of things happening over the past week. Quality outside riding was once again shelved due to ice, then deep mud, then ice again, now more crap snow. Then my running was shelved because I stubbed my toe and ripped the toenail off (that felt just as you might imagine), which left it looking like it was gnawed on by a wolverine.
My family and I spent a long weekend back in Pennsylvania paying our respects to Wifey’s grandfather who passed away last Wednesday. It was a sad weekend indeed, but it was a beautiful ceremony and it did well to celebrate the life of a great man.
With all that car travel, sadness, stress, and a jam packed non-stop schedule came poor diet choices and a complete lack of exercise. I feel like I put on ten pounds in four days!
Now home, I was anxious to bet back into the routine of daily exercise and eating healthier home cooked foods. Sadly the weather would not been cooperating for outside activities. As I’ve mentioned before, the past two weeks it was ice and slush, most of that is gone but the dirt roads are a quagmire of mud and standing water. The paved roads are clear but today we were socked in with fog and misty rain most of the day and I somehow lost my rear blinky in the garage somewhere. Not wanting to be struck down by a cement truck, I needed options.
NOTE: Posting has been lagging lately due to the fact that most of my time spent “doing stuff” has been done indoors. There is no real creative joy in posting daily updates about crap three-mile runs on the treadmill. Hopefully I get outside soon. Crap or not, after a week of running/lumbering nearly 20 miles to nowhere I had time to think about the direction that I want to take my life. I’m not one for New Year’s Resolutions, or at least not very good at keeping them, but I am one to make a list of things that I will “try to do.” Not so much because it’s a new year, but just because. This is a long one, so I have split it into two posts.
This is Part II, and written for me more than anything else, so feel no need to read it, but this is the sort of stuff that goes through my mind as I run staring at a blank wall in front of me.
– Management
NOTE: Posting has been lagging lately due to the fact that most of my time spent “doing stuff” has been done indoors. There is no real creative joy in posting daily updates about crap three-mile runs on the treadmill. Hopefully I get outside soon. Crap or not, after a week of running/lumbering nearly 20 miles to nowhere I had time to think about the direction that I want to take my life. I’m not one for New Year’s Resolutions, or at least not very good at keeping them, but I am one to make a list of things that I will “try to do.” Not so much because it’s a new year, but just because. This is a long one, so I have split it into two posts.
This is Part I, and written for me more than anything else, so feel no need to read it, but this is the sort of stuff that goes through my mind as I run staring at a blank wall in front of me.
– Management
Part I (On The Couch Whilst Sitting In a Recliner)
New Year’s Eve had some promise; Wifey and I had the house to ourselves, good food to eat, and a fridge full of good beer. Sadly by 9:00 PM all that promise turned into Wifey pissed at me because of my opinion on how I can’t see any good that could possibly come from 2017 (I still stand by that, the world’s f*cked), and debating my talents (her words) and lack there of (my words) as I head into another year without a paycheck.
