Tag Archives | sorry attempts at humor

Deer and Gutchies

By soiledchamois on December 19, 2024 in Outdoors

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been a little late getting to the trails due to the late sunrise (8:07 AM Michigan Standard Time for your sunrise nerds who read this) and my want to fill a bathtub up with scolding hot coffee, climb my naked self in, and drink myself out instead of going out into the dank, wintry morning air.

Luckily, Wifey will not permit me to fill our tub up with coffee (“It’ll stain the tub!” she says), so I settled for a big-ass mug or two of the stuff and then got my shit together for another lumber in chilly woods.

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A Lumber With Lester

By soiledchamois on December 18, 2024 in Outdoors

I returned to the woods on Tuesday and was greeted with MUCH better conditions.

I can’t go so far as to say it was a beautiful day; that would be a lie; it was dank AF, but all the ice was gone from the trails, and it made for a much easier lumber than on Monday.

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Further Into The Fog I Fall

By soiledchamois on December 17, 2024 in Outdoors

My much-anticipated weekend of slack turned out great, and I enjoyed all the hits: good beer, good food cookin’, a commanding Spurs victory, sexy time, and other indoor goofball slacker activities due to freezing rain. As Ren Höek would say, “This is the life.” Well, at least until Monday.

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Friday Chilliness

By soiledchamois on December 13, 2024 in Outdoors

Thursday’s 5-mile lumber in 10˚ temps had me feeling pretty logy last night, but I was up and ready for another 5 miles today and the chance to hit my 25-mile weekly lumbering goal.

Thank goodness it was going to be warmer today. Well, by 4˚.

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Lumber and Fun Facts

By soiledchamois on December 12, 2024 in Outdoors

With about a mile left in my lumber on Wednesday, I passed Mary(?) and Jim(?) coming in the opposite direction. Mary is usually the more talkative of the two when we pass, but this time, Jim said, “It’s going to be something else tomorrow!”

I was confused for a second, but then I remembered the weather forecast: a high of 16˚, windy conditions, and light snow. “Oh, yeah, I saw that! Gonna have to bundle up!”

And the weather people were not wrong.

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Late Weekend Posts

By soiledchamois on December 9, 2024 in Outdoors

For what it’s worth (absolutely nothing, say it again, ya’ll), I had this crap written and ready to go on Sunday morning, but then I got sucked into a vacuous black hole of software updates on an outdated Mac and all the joys that come with it and missed my time frame. So, now I have to edit all over again, AND my Monday post will be pushed back because I feel like if I post two in one day, it makes me look like a psychopath without a real life outside of this digital word salad.

Thanks, management

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Lumbers and Winter Warmers

By soiledchamois on December 6, 2024 in Outdoors

Taking a short cut on the dirt roads.

Well, I guess real winter is here, at least for a little while.

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Getting Real

By soiledchamois on December 5, 2024 in Outdoors

It’s 7:20 Wednesday morning and I’m sitting in the room of our house that contains a desk, my computer, and all my camera gear¹, wasting time, waiting for my lower intestines to give me the all-clear sign to exit the house for a lumber.

While doing so, I checked the weather. Ho hum, cloudy, 34˚, chance of snow flurrries, winds from 10-20 MPH; yawn, typical Michigan winter. But then I looked at tonight’s forecast; cloudy, snow showers and wind gusts up to FORTY miles per hour. Ma Nature’s kicking shit up a bit! Going to be even more trees down on Thursday.

OK, all clear, time to go.

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A Cold Start

By soiledchamois on December 3, 2024 in Outdoors

I was once again the first and only car at the trailhead parking lot at 7:45 Monday morning.

The sunlight was just starting to creep over the trees, turning the clouds various shades of pink, red, and orange as I tightened my shoelaces and waited for my Garmin to connect. All the while, a large gaggle of geese in the river were honking away.

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Lumbers, Menus, and Thanks

By soiledchamois on November 29, 2024 in Outdoors

I was up at my usual 6 AM on Thanksgiving morning to tend to the dogs and my dumps, and then it was a quick cup of coffee and out the door into the dark to get to the trails before the annual Turkey trot trail race kicked off at 9 AM.

I was sort of pissed about the race happening because I really wanted to attempt it this year! But the last time I Googled it (pre-autumn mental meltdown), all I could find was the 2023 event info. Then, when I woke up this morning, I wanted to double-check, and NOW there was the damn info. Go figure. Perhaps it’s a sign from the Run Dogs that I’m not ready yet.

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