For roughly the 10th time in the past 3+ months, I let Winter beat me down. And for roughly the 10th time in the past 3+ months, I have bounced back like a body tossed from the top of the Empire State Building.
Posts Tagged → sorry attempts at humor
Winter’s Knock Out
These days, I’m not so much hiding from winter as I am beat down by winter like an aging heavyweight boxer lying on the mat, dazed, confused, with blood and spittle running from my slackened jaw as my eyes struggle to focus on what is happening around me before accepting fate, and closing them. *cue soundtrack*
But hey, it’s February, and like the saying goes, “new month, same old cold, miserable, bullshit.”
Obviously, I am riding a wave of hyperbole and caffeine this morning, as I recap a week of nothing. For that, I make no apologies.
Restarts & Refrozen
Last week’s multi-day deep freeze had me in my comfy chair watching YouTube channels or on the treadmill for the majority of my “Me Time,” and I knew I needed to change something, stat. Or keep the slack going, and return to The Bed of Torment, a depressive, heaving bag of aging suck.
So, I started Monday with a better outlook and a plan written in sand to make this week better. I think I done good.
Snow Glow & A Woodsy Hike
After making breakfast, cleaning the kitchen, and seeing Wifey off for a day in the office, I collected my gear, opened the garage door, and saw a steady snow falling.
I wasn’t thrilled to be driving as it snowed (part of the aging process, I suppose, like sporting large tufts of ear hair, unkept eyebrows, and sagging scrotums tucked in socks), but a quick look at the radar showed that it should be over soon.
With that, I took off like a herd of turtles, and as I was nearing the park, the bright orange sun was now rising over the trees in the farm field to my left, and was made more luminous by flakes in the air. I couldn’t help but stop on the empty dirt road to admire the glow and snap a pic.
New Week, Missed Shots
After 72 hours without leaving the house, I embraced returning to the cold, snowy woods to lumber like an obese dog to a pile of its own vomit, complete with half-digested sock. It was pretty OK.
Frozen and Deactivated
On the first day of our current deep freeze, I headed down to the Not So Stankment to lumber on the treadmill for 3 miles.
Complaining & Stomping
Sticks in Spokes, Shoes
I had a plan for Tuesday, but that plan fell apart for multiple reasons.
First, I saw the weather when I woke up; 2˚ with a “real feel” of -11˚. Hmmm, 12˚ was bad enough on Monday, screw that.
I also started doing the math in my head for how much time I needed for the lumber, plus the Cul-De-Sac-Shack duties I needed to get done, plus driving 45 minutes each way to the dentist, not including the time actually spent at said dentist.
Shit, this whole dentist thing is a real stick in my spokes.
With that, I aborted the lumber and freed up some time to get things done proper without rushing around like a nut.
Speaking of sticks in spokes…
Getting Miles, Using Deer
Our flirtation with sunlight ended, and we were back to steady snow and winter slop today. Slop that wasn’t due to hit until mid-morning, and slop that I had hoped to avoid driving in by getting to the trails early. But it turns out the weather goofs were wrong, and a steady wet snow fell for nearly the entire lumber. Such is life, whatever.
Like Eating A Mango
I find myself shocked at how “back to normal” I finally feel after the last month of holidays, snow, ice storms, and unwanted slack. To quote the great George Costanza after he ate that magic, penis-moving mango, “I’m back, baby! I’m back!” Well, maybe not that good.