Late in March 2024, I was enduring a spell of multiple injuries to my back, knee, and both feet due to age, overuse, and an accident while caring for Jake (the dog).
I was really struggling, and lumbering was super painful. So, after much nervousness, anxiety, and bouts of “what the fuck is wrong with my brain?” I stuffed myself into some bike kit, got on board my trainer in the basement, and rode a bike for the first time in 2 years, 4 months, and 26 days. It was pretty OK, and I would do it again a few more times during my recovery.
Once I finally recovered from my injuries, I never looked at the trainer again. I went back to my near-daily lumbers and, by mid-summer, had even introduced some running into my routine.
I did find myself riding outside a few times; none of the rides were super long, but they were fun and a huge mental hurdle for me to finally get over.
Despite getting over these mental hurdles, I couldn’t get my obsession with ridin’ bikes back.
Fast forward to late January 2025.
In late January, mid-Michigan went through a cold snap that had the high temps for the day below zero, and my desire to be out in said temps at about the same level.
Without giving it a thought, my brain shifted into bike mode, or at least “bike on the trainer mode,” and I was soon in the Not So Stankment riding nowhere fast. I’ve done it a few more times since, and did it again today.
Without hesitation, I also found myself ordering some minor gear I needed for outdoor riding once the snow melts.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ALL THE CYCLING-RELATED ANXIETY AND MIND FUCKING???
There was no depression, anxiety, nervousness, or “this isn’t who I am anymore” type bullshit. I just slapped on a chamois ripe for soiling and did it.
I have no idea if it’s years of sessions with the OG Mindbender, age, meds, life, or what, but somewhere along the line, I’ve allowed myself to let go of cycling and being a cyclist as an identity and embrace the fact that I just like pushing myself outdoors, whether it be on my bike, hiking, lumbering, “running,” XC skiing, snowshoeing, or crawling.
A part of my brain has always stupidly believed that if I’m a cyclist, I couldn’t possibly enjoy running or hiking, and if I’m doing any of those things, they need to be done outside, at long distances and be done to the point of near-obsessiveness until overuse injuries and burnout set in.
I think I MIGHT be finally getting closer to the realization that I am not a hiker, runner, cyclist, mountain biker, or lumberist. I am a dirt-worshiping “outdoor enthusiast” who enjoys covering as much ground and seeing as much of nature as he can with his camera. Then, blathering about my totally doable, mundane micro adventures here. And if I’m indoors on the trainer or a treadmill, that’s just fine; they are mere tools to get stronger, faster, cover more ground, see more things, and take more photographs, whether it be on two wheels or two feet when conditions allow.
As far as today’s activities, I chose to poo-poo a lumber again. Dog-free lumberists and snowshoe-types are permitted on the groomed trails, so long as you avoid the set classic tracks. But since we rarely get enough snow for grooming, I figured I’d let the XC skiers enjoy the fresh grooming the county did yesterday for a day or two without my stumbling ass getting in the way.
So, with all that self-discovery (not code for masturbation) and the knowledge of fresh grooming on the trails, I opted for another MyWhoosh ride on the trainer, riding through Arabia and the 14-mile Al Wathba-L course.
It was a hell of a workout, but I don’t think I would do the course again. It was way too flat, and I was basically on the gas the entire time. AND on sit bones, which these days are not used to this much saddle time.
With another 5 to 7 inches of snow arriving this weekend, I might not hit my 20-mile goal this week. But so far, I’ve got 15.45 miles of snowy hiking in my feetz and over 27 miles of indoor pedaling in my legs. The brain, am I right?
Later.
Photo Notes:
- Deer pic taken last week and not posted.
- Lola napping last night.
- My Soiled Big Mac obsession continues. Why would I mess with the perfect lunch??