The First Mile’s The Hardest Mile

After last Sunday’s aborted ride due to the gusting wind and cool morning temps, I was convinced that not riding my bike (outside) for 5 months just may have crushed my fitness into a fantastical memory never to be relived in any form. “I WILL NEVER RIDE MY BIKE AGAIN!!” I proclaimed in grandiose hyperbolic thought as I returned Mr. Burgundy to his home in the garage. 

Ten minutes later, after warming up and getting the last bits of thick phlegm out from my throat and into the kitchen sink, a moment of clarity hit me, and I realized that maybe I jumped the gun. That, perhaps riding my bike for the first time since the fall at 9 AM in 40˚ temps with 25-40 MPH wind gusts was NOT ideal riding, and that I shouldn’t be so hard on my stupid fat self.

Then later, as if a sign from the cycling gods, I returned to the garage to take the garbage out and saw that the front tire on Mr. Burgundy was flat. The wind, phlegm, and self-loathing worked in unison and prevented me from having to put in a tube along a dirt road with numb fingers, and the wind roared over the pancake-flat landscape. Or my sealant was just dried up from a winter of nothing. Either way, you get my point.


This Sunday, I did things right-ish enough; I waited until the temps got higher, I double-checked the wind speeds, and I chose to ride the Roscoe instead of Mr. Burgundy. Who among us doesn’t enjoy riding sort of fat 27.5+ tires on unusually dry and fast dirt, gravel, and pavement.

From the moment I left the Cul-De-Sac-Shack, things seemed better than the week before; wind, temps, legs, mind, everything seemed just a bit better.

Don’t be fooled by that last paragraph; I still suffered because there is no doubting that I am out of shape! And I ONLY did 15 miles, but 15 is better than the 1.5 from the week before!

No matter the ride’s length or how much work needs to be done in the fitness department, it was great to be outside in the sun, especially after such a dark and dreary winter.

The combination of a ride with my camera, the sun, warm temps, and the recently administered J&J/Janssen vaccine coursing through damaged veins1 of my gelatinous body made for some good vibes on Sunday afternoon.

This coming week is stuffed with shit that needs done, still hoping to enjoy a little taste of spring along the way.



PPS:I’ve been working on some alternative ways for people to see my pics. One is my Junk Miles portfolio, the other is a Chamois related photo site that will be live in coming hours or weeks.

  1. Yes, I got my vaccine on Friday (being fat, old, with high blood pressure and a clotting disorder finally paid off), and I’m pretty stoked. I’m also stoked that I got the Johnson & Johnson/Janssen version. One-shot, done, and in two weeks, I’ll be fully vaccinated and have penciled in my return to the gym as well as feel better about traveling to Indiana next month for a soccer tournament. Please, people, get your vaccines. I beg you!! The more people that get vaccinated, the faster that we return to maskless normal. There is no mind control device in the serum, I didn’t feel sick, and it’s NOT A POLITICAL choice!!! It’s a choice to prevent the spread of a virus that sickened, killed, and mentally fucked millions around the world in the past year. Just get it, Goddamn it! I tell you what, if you get your vaccine and die, I’ll take the blame. Cool?

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