In response to my last post:
August 24, 2023
Dear Blogger: Chamois, Soiled, The [U.B.U. Member 299PERLB]
On August 23, 2023, in your post entitled The Hateful Eights, you made several direct and indirect violations [see below] to the most recent U.B.U. bargaining agreement signed on January 1, 2023.
Violations:
- References to your depression, mental health, and or how you are or aren’t dealing with issues regarding either.
- References to Donald J. Trump [AKA Fuck Face, The Orange Fuck Face, That racist piece of shit, etc., etc.,] and his morbidly stupid supporters.
As your rep, I would like to remind you of these violations and for you to consider this your first official warning in the matter.
I would also like to remind you that any further mention of the above items could result in the termination of The Soiled Chamois in all forms and across all platforms [Instagram, Cat 5 Cooking, Soiled Sounds, etc.] by the United Bloggers board of directors.
Your long-time commitment to the now passé writing platform known as blogging has been considered during this investigation, but we ask that you take this warning seriously.
Lastly, as your long-time rep and friend, off the record, I would encourage you to remember that your ill-written words and creativity will somehow live longer than any steaming pile of horse shit blathering that falls out of the former President’s mouth, and when making statements about the halfwitted morons that blindly follow him, please consider the paraphrased words that some dude once wrote on The Guardian;. “Not everyone that voted for Trump is a racist, but every racist voted for Trump.” So, try to go easy on them; not everyone had a “come to Jeebus moment” regarding race as you did in the summer of 1991. (By the way, you should write about that sometime!).
Thank you, and good luck with your writing. Just don’t mention the Orange Fuck Face or your battles with depression. As long as you stick with the crap photos and the sophomoric writings of your benign outdoor adventures, I see no reason to pursue this matter further.
Kind regards,
Mr. Sven D. Martinez Jr. (him/who/him/me)
Midwest Union Representative, United Bloggers Union (U.B.U.)
Apartment 5B
19 Douglas Avenue
Racine, Wisconsin 53402
Well, as they say in Egypt, “so let it be written, so let it be done.”
With that Union business from Sven out of the way, the week steadily improved. We got B off to MSU for the year, Spurs won again, and I somehow completed my 25 miles-per-week lumbering goal in just 4 days, allowing me to take 2 full days off to rest my heel plus one day to mow the lawn.
Picture-taking was lame, and I can’t get a good focus on a mushroom to save my life, but sometimes it be like that.
Current progress on the 2022 Not Dead Yet Comeback Special
and 2023 Soil The Woods Tour from 9/19/22 – 8/27/23
Total Hikes: 253
Total Distance: 1,152.71 woodsy miles
Average Distance: 4.56 miles per hike
Average Time: 1:21:03 per hike
Weight: – N/A
Later.