One of the worst things about being an outdoor lumbering enthusiast in the winter is the constant weather-watching and weather-based decision-making.
Here in central Michigan, hardcore weather-watching for me starts in early November and lasts until around mid to late April, and most days consist of the following questions:
How cold is it?
Is it windy?
Is it going to rain, snow, or both?
How much did it snow?
Is it a wet snow or a dry snow?
What about freezing rain? Is it slippy?
Do I need GORTEX boots or trail runners?
What about snowshoes?
Did the snow turn to ice?
Do I need micro-spikes?
Thin or thick gloves?
Should I even take water?
A puffy jacket or a thermal jacket?
Thick pants or thin?
What about base layers?
Should I wear a cap or a bobble?
Is the snow melting into a lumpy mess?
Did that lumpy mess turn into solid ice?
Should I take moisture protection for my camera?
Would trekking poles make things more stable?
What about a snood? Will my face freeze?
Have they groomed the trails?
Do I need to shovel the driveway first?
Are the roads even safe enough to get to the trails?
What is the expected work-to-fun ratio?
Opposed to spring/summer/fall questions:
Is it supposed to rain?
Should I stuff a light jacket in my pack or wear it?
Where are my favorite trail runners?
Two water bottles or just one?
Where’s the bug spray?
What is the expected work-to-fun ratio? It’ll be fun.
Should I do a 5, 6, or 8-mile loop today?
See what I’m sayin’?
And since it’s currently late February, all those wintry questions are still being asked, and sadly, today, the most important winter-time question was the Expected Work-To-Fun Ratio, and the answer was a lot of potential work for not a lot of fun. Shit.
Over the past 10 days, we had a lot of snow, followed by frigid temps. Now, the temps are warming up into the high 30s and mid-40s, and the sun is out. In my experience, when you combine that with all the recent trail grooming, you often get a thick, packed layer of snow that can even have snowshoes breaking through the top layer of the once firmly groomed snow and sinking down deep, making for a less-than-desirable Expected Work-To-Fun Ratio. And a hell of a lot of work.
The Expected Work-To-Fun Ratio is actually part of every lumber, run, or ride, and the work is what makes it fun. I mean, if you don’t want to push your body, just drive a fucking car (or an e-bike). But on occasion, the work becomes misery, and I spend the entire time wishing I had done something/anything else.
While I’m stoked to see some sunshine and warmer temps, looking out my window and seeing all the slush, ice, and heaps of wet, melting snow tells me that my chance of getting dressed, driving to the trails, doing a worthwhile loop, and having any fun whatsoever would be very slim.
Thankfully, I have rediscovered some on-bike mojo, even if that bike is attached to a trainer in my basement, and I’m pedaling nowhere fast and getting there slowly. Not to mention, any mojo I’m getting is coming from the thumping, deep bass techno music in my earholes, and the fact that I’m actually sweating rather than being so cold I can’t feel my fingers and my nipples are so hard they attempt to violate the biological limits of manhood and lactate.
So…
TO THE BASEMENT FAT MAN!!
While I grossly overestimated any fun that I might have riding the trainer in my basement for an hour, I did manage to get it done and save myself potential disappointment from trails covered in a thick blanket of melty mush.
With the outside temps a bit warmer, I lowered the heat in the house super low, set up a fan, and I STILL sweat like a freak as I rode to nowhere over the 13.8-mile Sands of Time course. I’m pretty sure my heart rate was in Zones 3 and 4 for about 95% of the ride, which I think might think I might have been due to dehydration, given that I can’t remember drinking more than one large glass of water all day Sunday and only had coffee this morning. Oh well, live and learn.
The shit show, unneeded selfie above is from this morning as I recovered on the steps of the Not So Stankment. About 5 or 6 years ago, I would go for a ride and then come back and sit on the Post Ride Garage Step of Crap Fitness Reflection, cursing myself for my love of cheese and beer. Now, 5 or 6 years later, I’m sitting on the Post Ride Basement Steps of Not Too Bad Fitness Reflection. This sounds great, but given that my Crap Fitness from 6 years ago was probably better than today’s Not Too Bad Fitness, it ain’t too good.
NOTE: I’m running out of photos until I get back outside, so the intro photo is from a couple weeks ago, as a small group of deer tried to hide from me in the reeds. My sweaty, fat face is from today, and Lola is from a day or two ago as she soaked up some winter sun.
Later.