On Wednesday, I got out for a low-key 4-mile lumber, mostly sticking to main paths, before coming home to cut the grass, which adds another 2 miles of walking behind a mower.
Despite the summer-like temps, the woods are becoming increasingly fall-like with each passing day, and while the fall colors are definitely better than the “brown season,” which lasts from November to May, I get a sick feeling in my stomach knowing the psychological torment that I’ll soon be putting myself through over the next few months as well as the omnipresent darkness that will spread over Michigan like a fat man’s nugget sack until the sun returns in May.
I take photos of the fall woods because it’s instinct, but in reality, I would rather take photos of a well-used human abattoir rather than celebrate autumn with photos. Most often, my brain is about as impressed with fall as I am by a Thomas Kinkade painting. But people seem to dig it. Fall, not Kinkade.
I digress.
Thursday was all about celebrating my second anniversary of climbing out of The Bed of Torment, putting on hiking shoes, walking right past my bikes, and into the woods, where I began lumbering my way to improved fitness and an improved state of mind.
I celebrated my Lumberversary by doing my second 5-mile “run” of the week. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t my fastest time completing the loop in 58:07, but given this was my fourth day in a row of “doing stuff,” I’ll take it.
This year was pretty tough on me with injuries: two bouts of painful plantar fasciitis, a corn that lasted for half a year, two different knee issues, and a foot injury brought forth by tripping over my own feet while dealing with Jake (the dog) that I thought would never heal.
The year also had its share of accomplishments, which, beyond the numbers listed below, included starting to trail run in July (exactly two months ago), which has not only brought increased fitness but also strengthened the muscles and tendons in my legs and feet, which in turn has me walking (and running) pain-free for the first time in well over a year. I also did my first 10-mile lumber ever at MMCC a week ago, and I’m pretty proud of that.
As a reminder, The 2022 Comeback Special begat The 2023 Soil The Woods Tour, which begat The 2024 Lumber Through Hell Tour. And with that, here are my two-year totals as of today:
September 19, 2022 – September 19, 2024
Total Hikes/Runs: 493
Total Distance: 2,426.98 Woodsy miles
Average Distance: 4.9 miles per lumber/run
Longest Hike: 10.01 miles on 9.13.24
Fastest Run: 56:45, 5-mile run on 9.17.24
Poops in The Woods: I lost count.
Weight Lost: I don’t weigh myself because no good can come from it. I base it on fitness, the way clothes fit, and what I sadly see in the mirror. I figure it should be around 50 pounds, but like age, it’s just a number.
While I was looking at the numbers, I took a second to look at my first 5-mile lumber versus today’s 5-mile run.1
October 12, 2022
Deerfield Lumber
Distance: 5.01 mi
Time: 1:37:42
Average pace: 19:31/mile
September 19, 2024
Deerfield “Run”
Distance: 5.00 mi
Time: 58:07
Average pace: 11:38/mile
I’m no expert, but I think I’ve made some progress. Sure, I didn’t take any worthwhile photos today, but if you want to make a fat-filled fleshy omelet, you gotta break a couple eggs.
I also was looking over some numbers that aren’t quite as favorable concerning my mental health and subpar nonexistent social life, but I didn’t want to shit on today’s positive vibes. I’m sure I’ll get around to publicly shaming myself here in the days to come.
I’ll just add that it’s been a whirlwind couple of years, but I am happy to be back to having an outdoor fitness passion and feeling better physically than I have in years. Looking forward to many more miles.
Lastly, as always, mad love to Wifey and B for their unwavering love and support with both my fitness efforts and my attempts at getting my life-long depression under control. Both are works in progress, and neither could be done without their support (PLP).
Smells like a pub toilet, looks like an overcooked baked ham.
Note: All “real” photos were taken during Wednesday’s lumber. Selfie was today. Also, I swear this will be the last sweat-face, post-run parking lot selfie. It has to stop.
Later.