I am not the biggest road racing fan in the world, but I am a fan of spring and of course cycling. And to me there are a few things in life that mark spring’s arrival…
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Unlikely Inspirations
This week has been a strange one as far as me “doing stuff.” Sadly, it only allowed me one day of “real” riding: Wednesday’s hour and a half fat bike ride. The rest of the week has been a hodgepodge of trips to the gym and time spent on the trainer. Not the best of weeks, but better than many I’ve had.
I was up early today and had no problem convincing myself to get on the trainer.* The problem I had was actually forcing myself to pedal the bike on the trainer. The first minutes of my warm up were spent cursing the vile winter for forcing me to the trainer again and my belly which was bouncing off my legs like a gelatinous, beer filled, lycra covered sack with each pedal stroke. Cuss me! CUSS ME TO HELL! (or reasonable facsimile).
F Yeah, It’s The Weekend
The weekend is upon us and to celebrate, tonight I am going to cook up some Stromboli, have two to twenty-four Torpedos and (for some unknown reason) listen to some big sounding prog-metal about heads on bloody spears, holy nectar flowing from celestial teats and stuff like that. Now what did I do with my mace and Viking helmet?…
Neat To Do
I’m pretty against the whole “bucket list” thing. Mostly because I already lie awake most nights obsessing about the life I’ve wasted and its inevitable demise, I don’t need to add in a list of unattainable things I want to do before I die to all that self loathing and mental drama. I prefer just to say “yeah, it would be neat to do that.”
Case in point: The Sudety Mountain Bike Challenge. This is a race that I think would be really “neat to do.” I’ve talked about it before here and on the late xxcmag.com but that won’t stop me from briefly doing so again.
Spinning & Feeling Kneady
The stationary trainer is a strange beast. Hated by almost everyone and used by nearly as many, it allows for nothing but the vaguest feeling of actually riding your bike. In my opinion it’s WAY worse than running on a treadmill. Running sucks whether you are being chased by a gang of unruly thugs, doing a 5K, a marathon or on the treadmill at the gym… it just sucks. I respect and admire the folks who do it and enjoy it, but it sucks. When I do it, it hurts, it feels dumb and I ALWAYS think “this would be SO much better if I was on my bike.”
Cracked
It’s the time of the year when I have cracked. I have NO desire to ride in the ice, cold and snow, I hate my stationary trainer and the idea of going to the gym makes me a bit sick in the stomach. On top of that I let myself get sucked into reading daily updates from the Cyprus Sunshine Cup [seen above] and watching the Mellow Johnny’s Classic XC race online yesterday.
I need a real ride and some real dirt. Sadly, in looking at our 10 day forecast, I don’t see any relief from the snow and cold in our immediate future. I am trying really hard to hold my shit together, but with each passing day I anticipate the snug unwelcome grip of straight jacket. Deep breaths… Deep breaths….
Photo: Adelheid Morath (Sabine Spitz/Haibike Pro) during Stage 3 of the 2014 Cyprus Sunshine Cup
©Marius Maasewerd/EGO Promotion
The Seven Stages of Ice
Most of the paved roads surrounding my neck of Michiganderburgh are snow and ice-free. The dirt roads are however are not, nor is my driveway (seen above) or the neighborhood sidewalks.
I believe my driveway perfectly illustrates the Seven Levels of Ice that we are currently encountering (Six and Seven are not pictured above). The sixth levei is giant piles of frozen solid snow at the corner of every driveway, parking lot and sidewalk in town caused by copious amounts of shoveled and plowed snow, followed by rain and 40˚ temps which then froze solid when arctic temps and high winds returned last week.
The Seventh Level of Ice is two to three ice cubes direct from the kitchen freezer, placed in a high ball glass and covered with 4 fingers bourbon, vodka, scotch, gin or boxed wine of your choice.
Speaking of ice and wind, the National Weather Service has issued ANOTHER Winter Winter Advisory for the next 24 hours that includes: blowing snow, wind gusts reaching up to 35 mph and wind chills of minus twenty degrees. I really need the weekend (see next post) so I can give myself the green light to enjoy the Seventh Level (except in beer form).
That Hobo Taste
This photo has nothing to do with anything other than it’s the only photo in my recent stash that comes close to illustrating how I feel right now.
The Slop Before The Slop
The above pic was from the Transalp race a couple of years ago (2012 I believe). I only post it here now because A. I like the photo and B. The snow and slush is about what it looks like around here right now and it’s only going to get worse. If I were out on the snirt roads right now there would even be cows (most likely not roaming the roads, but they would be there).
The Non-Tourist
The following post was originally published in XXC Magazine No. 5 (late fall 2009) and is reprinted with permission from the author (which is me). While I no longer have goals geared towards ultra endurance racing (dwindling fitness and a series of blood clots now have me pursuing races 50 miles and under) the sentiment and my love of mountain biking remains.