Dry Trails, Big Birds, & No Four Giants

Last week, as I tramped over the gravel roads, my gut feeling was that the local trails wouldn’t be completely bare of slippy, packed snow until Monday. However, since I only trust my gut when it’s hungry or has to poop, I attempted to hike those trails on Friday with meh-like results. 

Fast forward here, please. >>>

I arrived at the trailhead Monday and saw the main trail leading into the woods bare of snow for the first time since early January. To which I became a little too excited.

I lumbered 6.35 miles, stoked to be back in the woods amongst the critters and trees.

Tuesday, I was back for more of the same, and I got in 6.10 miles and saw my first trumpeter swan ever1. If you’ve never seen a trumpeter swan, let me assure you, they are ABSOLUTE UNITS with a wingspan that can reach between 6 and 10 feet and can weigh upwards of 30 pounds!

When I first saw it, I thought it was one of those inflatable unicorns you see in pools. It totally looks like a human could ride on its back. And I just might try someday.

OK, OK, I’ll settle down. The bird was big, and the hike was good.

With the weather folks issuing a Winter Storm Warning with the oh-so-precise prediction of 3 to 8 inches of snow on Thursday morning, I was back at the trails on Wednesday to gobble up another 6.05 miles before potentially being housebound on Thursday morning.

It was a nice lumber; I saw the Trumpeter again (it must be nesting in that section of the river), met a photogenic chickadee, saw some deer in the woods, and ended the hike stoked to have stockpiled 18.50 miles in three days, thus freeing me of SOME of the guilt I’ll experience if I am indeed stuck inside Thursday morning (and since I’m typing this instead of getting my lumbering sneakers on, I guess I am; for now).

Thankfully, unlike our last snowstorm, it looks like the snow from this one won’t be around long (fingers crossed).

Lastly, I’m going to end this on a first-world sad note; I received confirmation from Founder’s Brewing this week that my favorite beer of the last couple of years, 4 Giants Imperial IPA, is being discontinued this year. 

I’m gutted. Now, it joins Bell’s Hopsoulution and Sierra Nevada’s Torpedo in the graveyard of hoppy beers that I love but have been either discontinued or are now, for some reason, unavailable in my part of Michigan. 

This leads me to a rant…

 Michigan is the top state for beer, yet the selections in grocery stores and party stores, as they call them here, are shit these days! Ever since COVID, the selection, restocking, and variety are absolute shit. Everything is cheap shit beer or hazy grapefruit-tasting New Englands style shit. I WANT BITTER FUCKING HOPS IN THE FACE LIKE A BRICK, GAHDAMNIT!!

I’m about ready to start going direct to the breweries to stock up! You can literally buy legal weed of questionable quality in about 15 different places in our small town2, but you can’t find a store that sells a hoppy IPA that doesn’t taste like beer-flavored cough medicine or a can of grapefruit juice laced with drunken dog urine. 

Rant off. 

Oh well, I suppose my liver needs a break from big beers. 

Time to get some actual adult shit done in lieu of lumbering and taking pictures.

AFTERNOON UPDATE: Not that it’s a big deal for anyone but me, but I finally installed a new garbage disposal in our kitchen sink. I have been dreading attempting it for over a week now, but today, I finally did it. I’m pretty proud of myself because while I’m game for any sort of landscaping or painting, anything to do with plumbing or electricity scares the fuck out of me. But, success!!

Later.


  1. My homeland of Pennsylvania is not in their range, and from what I’ve read, the bulk of trumpeter swans in Michigan are in the southwest, with just a small pocket in upper mid-Michgain
  2. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but who in the world needs that much of a weed selection, for fuck’s sake??)

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