After a mug of coffee and saying goodbye to Wifey, who was taking advantage of her use-it-or lose-it vacation days and leaving for Pennsylvania to visit her dad, I headed out for my non-runners version of running.
The morning air was downright cold for August, hovering right around 48˚ with not a cloud in the sky. Downright cold, yes, but also downright perfect for a sun-loving, big-boned person such as myself.
I had second thoughts about running as I started off down the trail, but then I remembered that I ALWAYS have second thoughts about running, so I just stuck to the plan and hoped for the best.
In spite of not feeling all that great, I was happy to see that my first mile was actually 11 seconds faster than Monday’s run on the same course, and that did wonders for my fat boy ego. Then, my F.B.E. got another boost when my second mile was 11 seconds faster than the first.
“Would you look at me!” I thought aloud as phlegm, sweat, snot, and other fluids streamed out of me like a broken sewer pipe.
Mile 3 is the hardest on this loop because it contains a relatively steep, sandy climb with large water bars to get over. Fairly easy for me when lumbering, but after two miles of pseudo-running in my legs, it can make me question why I do the things I do. However, in writing this crap, I checked my Garmin files, and I saw that I was actually 10 seconds faster on mile 3 than during my last run. I was really hoping for 11, just to keep the theme going, but I’ll take it.
Mile 4 also contains a few punchy little climbs but also has a nice decent, and I was sure that I was flying but ended up 9 seconds slower. The ego has been checked.
Sullen bird stick action.
After a few small climbs (that’s really all we have), Mile 5 is flat and rolling, and I know that I am a mere 5,280 feet from a big ass breakfast and coffee, so I usually find some extra motivation. Today was no different, and I ended up equaling my fastest outdoor mile ever at 11:07.
Obviously, I would have preferred to better that mile time, but, to put it in footy terms, it was a draw that felt like a win.
Then, it was mere steps to Escape II and the finish.
I was toast, and while drying off and stretching, my stomach wanted to puke, but since it was completely empty, I just made some fucked up dog-like retching noises before hurling myself down the road towards a Cul-De-Sac-Shack void of human life with a temporary look of smug self-satisfaction on my face. Sort of like post-Sexy Time. (way to sully the post, idiot)
I was sure that Monday’s time was better, but it turns out that I was 19 seconds faster today, completing the 5-mile loop in 58:36, and my fat boy ego is officially swoled (well, at least until I go out amongst society later).
I promise, no more sweaty selfies.
Once home, I changed out of my sweaty clothes and set about making that breakfast that I was lusting for during mile 5; baked diced potatoes, scrambled eggs (3 egg whites, plus 1 whole egg), and a bagel. Plus, a little cheese and hot sauce to give it wings. A bit much for a weekday breakfast, but as the old saying goes, “GIVE ME CARBS OR GIVE ME DEATH!!”
iPhone food pic.
Later.