I felt good physically after Monday morning’s lumber/run (runber?), and in a perfect world, I would do the same thing again Tuesday, especially since the mood I was in at 6:00 AM called for intense flogging and punishment for unknown reasons, although I have a feeling that it has something to do with still being alive. But it also could have been gas.
As I sipped my morning cup of Bust Ass, I could hear the OG Mindbender in my head telling me to take a moment to go inside and try to pinpoint the part of me that is feeling this emotion , try to ease it back, and then attempt to engage with “self.” However, just like in a perfect world, I would have lumbered/ran again today; I did not do any of that stuff.1
While I didn’t put my IFS skills to use this morning, I did stop short of forcing myself to run as punishment for whatever it is I feel I need to be punished for. I decided to switch things up a bit and went to the Hall’s Lake Natural Area for a low-key 4.25-mile hike with my camera in the early morning sunshine and unusually crisp morning air.
I was in no hurry, and while I didn’t see too much to photograph, being outside on some trails that I hadn’t been on in a while really helped distract me until I could get home to get some breakfast in my gut, and do some proper thinking about shit.
Phone pic.
I also had the chance to see Wifey again, who should have been on a flight to Baltimore for work, but the flight was delayed. I’m not sure what the issue with the flight was; too nice to fly?
After getting most of my errands done, my mood started to lift a bit. I believe it was the knowledge that there was Carabao Cup footy on later in the afternoon, which would allow me to keep distracting myself from thinking about anything and everything but whatever crap match I decided to watch and the laundry basket of unfolded clothes in front of me.
Hoping to get back in the woods for a runber or long hike tomorrow morning, then to my Wednesday afternoon appointment with the OG Mindbender to set me straight. Or at least let me spew raw emotions all over the floor and refuse to clean it up. What the fuck, I’m paying for it.
Later.
- I’ve mentioned this before, but I know that talking about therapy outside of a session can make someone sound like a nut, but trust me, it’s been a lifesaver. The OG Mindbender is very wise, and her introducing me to Internal Family Systems and has done wonders for me, despite struggling at times to put it 100% into place. Like they say, if you throw enough shit against the wall, etc., etc. I found THIS LINK that really explains IFS. It’s not from my therapist, and I don’t have “chronic pain,” but it is well explained if you’re the type into such things.