Nearly Gone


Fall, autumn, the Sunday of seasons, call it whatever you want, it’s nearly gone. I know, it’s not officially over until December 22nd when winter, the relentless heavy flowing period week of seasons takes over, but it feels like it’s all but done now.

Nearly all of our local crops have been harvested, or are being harvested, there is snow in the ten-day forecast, Thanksgiving is next week, and I had my first breakdown–in what is sure to be an ongoing series of breakdowns–in which I want to smash someone’s skull in with a frozen turkey upon hearing Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time in the grocery store. A breakdown soon followed by wanting to use the same blood spattered frozen bird on the skull of the next person that sends, posts, tweets, or says something about the “War on Christmas.”  There is no war, you’re a freaking moron who has even more time on your hands than I do. I’m going into my forty-fourth wretched Christmas and have yet to be a victim of said “war.” HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! Take that!!!

[Why am I breathing heavy and clenching my teeth as I type???]

Well, if that last rant of a paragraph isn’t an indication that fall’s over, I don’t know what is. Holy shit, Winter Jason is here!!

I’m so sorry for all that [breathing deep, getting into my happy place, thinking of boobs], I know I have to chill the fffffuck out and realize that the smegma covered holiday tip and the pre-spring hairy ball ends of winter are the worst parts. In between all of that there will good things: fat bike rides on crunchy snow pack, goofing off in the woods on snowshoes, and quality time “getting huge” from all my winter strength training… overeating… and binge drinking imperial stouts to kill the memories of the holiday season.


I’m mostly, sort of joking about all of that and I am of course putting the holiday shit filled cart before the horse like I always do. For now I will just shut my face and enjoy the fact that it’s mid-November and I’m getting out a few times a week on my bike. Like today, today was swell.


After two days off the bike filled with slack, house stuff and the kick off of my winter strength training regime (ouch), it was awesome to get outside, get some miles in, and take some pics.


Despite being on the Fatterson and a fairly good wind blowing from time to time, I felt pretty good. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I was actually glad it wasn’t that sunny for most of my ride. While I love riding in the sun, at the time of day I squeeze my rides in, it can make for some harsh highlights and shadows.


It seems that since my last ride on this loop, yet another local barn has burned down. This makes two (one north of town and one south) along routes that I ride. I’m starting to think I might be bad luck, or that they’ll start to think the lycra covered, picture-taking fat guy on his bike is an arsonist or something!

I felt bad about the one I saw today, it looks like they had a ton of cool old shit in there, like the skeleton of the car seen below. It looks like something from the 1920s or 30s, sucks to see it destroyed.


It also looks like they lost plenty of old tractors too. The good news is, it looked like the house nearby was untouched by the flames.


I was glad to get out today, because the next two days look rainy with high winds. If I’m lucky I’ll be able to squeezing something in between rain drops, chest presses and time in my pre-holiday happy place.


P.S. I promise, no more rants about the holidays. Well, at least until I hear Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time or someone besieges me with some sort of “Keep the Christ is CHRISTmas” forwarded mass email or bull shit Facebook meme.

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