Today I am jumping the gun on 2014 and sharing my New Year’s resolutions. Actually these are more like “life resolutions.” No, I am not going to say I won’t drink beer, swear, look at boobs (or butts) not belonging to Wifey or anything else so wildly over the top and drastic as that. Basically I am going to attempt to do two–somewhat attainable–things every day for the rest of my life (which I give another two years, tops):

1. Something creative: a blog post, photograph, drawing, etc., This isn’t hard, as it is sort of God’s curse on me that I am a creative. Almost instinctively I write (not very well), I take photos (not very well), I design (not very well), I draw (again, not very well) and I don’t make any money (OK, that I do well.) Still, it’s who I am, and have been for the past 42 years. I don’t think I could stop doing it even if I wanted, I might as well embrace it. Sort of like Liberace embraced his… um… ah… Liberace-ness (?).

2. Something physical: ride, go to the gym, run, ski, etc., This is a bit harder than the creative stuff, especially as I age, but it’s something that I have been fairly good about since my early 20s when I said so long to size 42 pants, 3 XL shirts and being afraid of girls. When I was super committed to endurance racing, this was MUCH easier, I had a plan and a goal: to race mountain bikes for long periods of time and not make a complete fucking fool of myself. I did OK-ish with that, although I did make a fucking fool of myself on more than one occasion. Having a kid, successfully running a magazine into the ground for a few years, moving to Michigan and health issues got more and more in the way and it started to get real easy to say “Fuck it, I’ll do something tomorrow.”

Enough of that! Baring illness, every single one of us (especially we unemployed/unemployable types) can work SOME sort of physically activity into our lives. I plan to do whatever I can, whenever I can, to make time for at least 30 minutes of SOMETHING every day. Most of the time I do more than that and given my aspirations to once again do some racing in 2014, come spring I hope to gauge this time in hours not minutes.

With all that “look at me, this is what I plan to do and will probably fail miserably because I am a slacker” bullshit out-of-the-way, I will tell you what I did today.

I ran.

Well, I SORT of ran. basically I walked for a quarter of mile/ran for quarter of a mile, for 3 miles. “Big fucking deal!” you say as you sit upon your wispy holier than thou thrown sporting shimmery, short short, Hooters girl running shorts and band aids on your nipples. I’m the first to admit you’re right, it’s not a big deal. But, when I am done flipping you off with both of my chubby middle fingers raised high I will say “fuck you, we’re not all built for such potentially imbecilic activities as running.” Then after I realize that was a very stupid thing to say, I will just admit that I don’t like to run (I equate it to liking to eat fish), I don’t do it that often, and I have to work really hard to force my hulking bodice to walk, jog, run, and GOD HELP EVERY FUCKING LAST ONE OF US, sprint on occasion.

Still, today I did just that and it felt really good. Especially since I wasn’t going to do anything today. Warm temps melted snow, then today’s super cold temps froze everything in sight, so skiing and riding outside were out of the question. As a rule I refuse to go the gym on weekends and I didn’t want to ride the trainer two days in row if I could help it. So, on the treadmill I went for 45 minutes. It was good, it was great, it was bad, it was just enough. I walked, I jogged and at times I was even in a full on fat-boy sprint at eight miles per hour.

With that, two days post-Christmas sloth I have two hours of “doing stuff” under my giant ass belt. Sure, my knees are sore and I think I hit myself in the face with my belly whilst running but it was still good.

What should you take away from this post? Well, most of my friends do way more than me already, so they are probably just feeling sorry for me. Those who don’t know me or don’t race bikes should just say “well, if this fucker can do something, I can do something.”  If I motivated just one fatty to do something or one fit person to not end up like I am now…. well, my job is done. Go do something.

Side note: What is up with the bruise on my leg in the pic? Just goes to show that it doesn’t take much to bruise when one is on blood thinners.



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