The last needless post was way too long and written over several days, and I told myself that I’d vomited enough sophomoric wit and unsolicited opinions (my age is showing) onto your screens this week. But then, sometimes, shit happens. So, here we are. Sorry.
SATURDAY
My plan for Saturday was to do a short, early morning 3.5-mile loop and then mow the grass for the second gahdamn time this week. And I did all that, but it took a second before it actually happened due to stupidity from yours truly.
One of B’s friends since first grade was staying over Friday because they were driving to Detroit early Saturday morning to pick up some friends flying in from Georgia (“The Georgia Boys”) before heading off for a weekend of shenanigans.
Anyway, with B’s car and “Chin’s” car both in the driveway, I was of blocked in, so my early morning lumber was pushed back until around 7:45 when they left.
Wifey left to go walk the neighborhood just after B left, and I was right behind her to head to the trails.
Or, so I thought.
I threw my stuff in the car, pushed the ignition button on Escape II, and got nothing but the dreaded “No Key Detected” message. Shit.
This has happened before, and it was a dead battery. “No worries, I’ll jump it!” And I leapt into action with a look on my face that said, “I know exactly what I’m doing!!!”
A fine plan, but Wifey’s Soobie was in the garage, and since I’ve yet to find my way around under its hood and didn’t want to screw anything up, I backed it out of the garage, pulled B’s Escape (formerly mine) into the garage, hooked up the cables, did my thing, turned the car on, then mine, and nothing.
SHIT!!!!! Time for some phone Googling.
“Do this, press that, pull this off, then put the key fob here. etc.,”
I grabbed the key fob out of my pocket but grabbed the wrong one; I still had the Soobie key in it. I reached into the other pocket and grabbed the Ford key, pulled it out, and it, too, was a Soobie fob.
Um, what?
I sat there in the garage, backlit by the morning sun, with one car running, blaring radio static due to a disconnected phone, one car not starting, and the sad, pathetic realization that I never actually had the Ford key. I accidentally grabbed the spare Soobie key.
***SIGHS HEAVILY***
After a few seconds of reflection on the extent of my stupidity, I got out of the car, turned around, and saw Wifey entering the garage with that “What the actual fuck is going on?” look on her face that I get two to six times a day.
“It’s a long story, nothing’s wrong!” I exclaimed as I quickly stepped into the house and returned with the Ford key.
I repeated the car shuffle and finally headed off for a painful 3.5-mile lumber in which I took ONE photo, a pic of some lost sandals along the river.
The lawn looks great, though.
SUNDAY
I mean, I am already typing, so…
Sunday’s plan was the same as Saturday’s but with 92.7% less stupidity (I reserve a bare minimum of 7.3% because if I’m involved, THINGS. WILL. GET. STUPID.) and a better start; actually, on the trail at 7:45 instead of playing Jenga with automobiles.
Foot, knee, blah, blah, blah, who cares? I only needed 2.90 miles to hit my 25-mile goal for the week, so I was prepared in advance to not even attempt a lumber with my camera and took off running down the trail like a wounded sasquatch with nothing but my iPhone to get some pics if needed.
I was shocked at how good I was feeling and how I was able to sustain my running efforts for much longer. There was next to no pain from anything while running, and I had the best lumber/run of my life. Of course, since I don’t consider myself a “runner” and have limited experience other than some attempts here and there over the past two years, that didn’t take much.
Still, I was freaking stoked when I completed the 3.32-mile loop in 41:13 and my best average overall pace ever (12:25).
Yay, me!!
Once home, I iced my knee and drank coffee on the porch for a bit before showering, eating breakfast, and planning the day.
NOTE: All the crap photos today are iPhone pics edited on my mobile with the Snapseed App.
You did what??
Later.