Soiled Image Tip: Balls & ‘Boli

I never promised you a rose garden. Or compelling images as part of the Soiled Image Tip series, and goddamn it, I am delivering on those non-partisan non-promises!

This post falls under if you give a person who likes taking photos (I’m hesitant to use the term photographer when referring to myself) a camera, they will take photos of it, no matter how mundane the task, and ain’t nothin’ more mundane than what I do on a Saturday night (for the record most of Saturday night, I thought it was Friday, Tuesday, or Sunday).


OK, I can handle Mozzer’s version better, even if he did turn into a bitter knob-head.

Wifey was upstairs in the Rattz Nest watching a bad Lifetime™ TV movie about a princess with a long lost twin that is home for Christmas and trying to steal her estranged sister’s rich boyfriend visiting from the big city, and B was at a socially-distanced bonfire (at least that’s what I tell myself) trying to salvage a Junior year social life amidst the mental wreckage of a global pandemic.

The dogs were happy enough to eat some treats and then snore, fart, and stink up the living room as I listened to music, watched footy replays, drank some beers, burned cheap, dog fart killing candles, made some badass homemade meatballs (beef/pork/spices/eggs/breadcrumbs), and then a semi-homemade meatball stromboli (I used pre-made dough, sauce, cheese, spinach, spices, and the aforementioned homemade meatballs). And still made it to bed by 10 PM on a Saturday. #dadlife

Apparently, I also took some photos of all this Saturday night action. Because I am a nerd. 

Tasty Sours
Date: 03.05.2021

Early on with one of my fave “light” beers from Dogfish Head. Super limey and sour.

Raw Dog. Well, actually raw meatballs. 
Date: 03.05.2021

Ready for the oven. Yes, I bake my balls at 350˚ for 25 to 30 minutes before saucing.

Insane with dog treat pleasure. 
Date: 03.05.2021

Lola enjoys an early evening treat before Fart Fest.

Sauced and ready for the ‘boli.
Date: Date: 03.05.2021

Removed from sheet pan and sauced and rested for their doughy condom of goodness.



Semi-Homemade White Trash Italian Food.
Date: Date: 03.05.2021

15 minutes at  425˚and I had myself a GIANT baller of a Stromboli. I ate half, feared I ate the other half, then went to bed before I did.

Cheap Dog Fart Killing Candles
Date: Date: 03.05.2021

The smell of Lilac, stromboli, bulldog, and vibing permeated the kitchen and living room right until the end.

Soiled pints.
Date: Date: 03.05.2021

The remnants of the last pint of the night, covered in greasy stromboli finger prints, raw meat, and other bodily fluids. My little one-man party is over. Time for bed; it’s 9:45 PM on a Saturday night. Or is it Tuesday night??


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