Strutting My Stuff

There is a first time for everything, and I’m not too ashamed to admit it; I hurt my foot Monday afternoon while animatedly relaying a story to Brenann about the time a few years ago when I saw a clip of a non-league goalkeeper doing the Connor McGregor strut after his team scored a late-game winner at the opposite end of the pitch.

To be clear, a chubby 50-year-old man somehow hurt his left foot—technically all five toes at once— imitating a non-league professional-ish goalkeeper replicating the cocky walk of a wildly successful MMA fighter while in the kitchen of his home. You really can’t make this shit up.

While it’s not a big deal, I thought my old ass should play it safe, and I aborted my trip to the gym on Tuesday to let whatever the hell I did to my foot ease up a bit more before I try lumbering on it. I’ve learned many times over recent years that pushing through an injury can often make things worse; a case in point is the time in 2019 that I got a raging case of plantar fasciitis from lumbering being fat and old and before long developed a sprain in my ankle due to forcing my foot into more “comfortable” positions while trying to walk.

While my foot feels way better than it did yesterday, there is a tinge of discomfort, so I’m not going to risk the chance of any mid-stride foot traumas on the Dreadmill that would result in me being shot off the back of it and onto the floor where I’d lay sobbing in a pile of exposed blubber, sweat, and feces as co-ed gym bunnies loudly scream in horror at the grotesque gelatinous realities of an aged male 30+ years their senior. I’m not sure why there is feces involved; I just assume that any physical folly over the age of 50 could very well involve uncontrollable bowel movements and further embarrassment.

So with the gym off the table, I laced up my hiking boots for another photo walk around the dank woods of mid-Michigan at Meridian Park.

The walk was short due to horrible lighting and a lack of activity around the park and woods, but I got a few of the now omnipresent red-winged blackbirds and a couple others. And for the record, my foot held up fine, but admittedly I won’t be doing the “McGregor Strut” again anytime soon.


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