Tag Archives | fucking weather

Like It Or Not

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Prior to this past week, there were threats here and there that winter was coming, but it’s now official–despite what the calendar tells us– winter with all its teeth grinding cold and blustery ice and snow is here. I could complain about it, Nay! I WILL complain it about over the coming months, but when you get down to it, there’s nothing any of us can do about it, especially a sub-par blogger and mortal human like me. Winter is here and survival (both mental and physical) is key.

To survive, some will ride fat bikes, some will brave the icy pavement on road bikes and some (like me) will retreat to the woods on snowshoes and cross-country skis (no matter how lackluster their skills), to basements and garages to climb aboard stationary trainers, or to the humid crotch-like stank of the gym. Almost everyone will bitch about it at some time or another. Such is life.

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The Nothingness of Dec. 11th

Today was another day on planet Hoth (AKA Michigan). Wind swept frozen snow and ice now covers everything and probably will until June. As per my standard operating procedure, I did not ride outside but did go to the gym for my cardio and strength training. It was pretty uneventful other than seeing one of the many characters I have come to encounter (or make up in my mind based on their appearance alone) each visit… today it was the Lesbian Mafioso.

Who is she? Hell, I don’t know, what I do know is that I spent my first few visits assuming she was a 50-year-old man. I’m not trying to be a dick or rude, I just thought she was a dude with a mullet and a track suit. Turns out he’s a woman, and from what I can tell, based on recently seeing her at the grocery store with her kids, NOT a lesbian (not that there’s anything wrong with that). I also have my doubts that she’s in the Mafia but if you don’t want to be stereotyped as such, don’t drive a Cadillac and wear track suits while looking like a high school gym teacher circa 1989.  How do I creepily know so much about her? Easy, she pulled into the gym parking lot the same time I did one day driving a Cadillac and she always wears track suits.

All this makes me sound like I am nebby, prejudice, judgemental and homophobic doesn’t it? I swear, all this is in jest, not to mention if you would see her, you too would think that she’s a lesbian Good Fella. OK, forget all that, I am grasping at straws for something to write about. I guess I could talk about my past history of not doing stuff or not doing enough to make me a better bike rider or racer? OK, I will…

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Making Do

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In attempts to get my head out of what Wifey so often refers to as The Bell Jar, I forced myself to dawn six layers of gear and go for a ride at Mid today. The result? Well, it was nice to get outside and out of the gym and basement, but the conditions were not all that ideal. It still helped a bit though.

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Thanks A Lot

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It’s the eve before Thanksgiving Eve (also known as Tuesday) and the day/eve, was a fucking mess. We got an ice storm last night, so B-Man’s school was cancelled today and I needed to get the snow tires back on the xB. Not to mention I had a million other things to do as we prepare for our trip back to Western PA for the holiday. Thankfully (or not) I had the chance to squeeze in 40 minutes on the trainer. 40 minutes that would have been better spent guzzling a vodka/sleeping pill/Lexapro cocktail instead of half heartedly spinning along and going nowhere for 40 minutes of a planned 60.

Don’t get me wrong, I am anxious to see my father, brother, sister, and in-laws, but mentally I would rather suck on a gas pipe than have to endure four days of explaining why the magazine went bust and I am mooching off my Wife’s brain and (thankfully) its associated income with no gainful employment in sight. But… such is life. I am very thankful. A slacker, but a THANKFUL slacker.

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A Perfect Day For A Road Ride

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Today was a perfect day for a road ride. Naturally, I went for a mountain bike ride.

You would think that I would have remembered the gusting 40+ mile per hour winds that rocked Michigan last Sunday and Monday. You would also think that I wouldn’t be forced to use an iPhone to take pics because I forgot my real camera on my desk. Go ahead and think those things, but you would be wrong.

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Ignoring The Facts

I find it amusing sad how long I can ignore the fact that spring and summer are gone and now fall is on the cusp of doing the same. Looking down the trail and seeing nothing but brown, bare trees is sort of a repeated slap in my fat face to wake up and smell the decaying bung of autumnal death and keep riding as long as I can. For soon winter will be bending me over a barrel of dark cold ass depression and thrusting its unprotected frozen phallus of hate in my general direction.

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This fact was made all the more real today when at the ride’s end I stood in the parking lot talking to some friends and was getting hit in the face with a smorgasbord of gusting wind, leaves, rain, sleet and snow. Then the sun came out. Michigan weather is as psycho as mountain weather…. we just don’t have mountains.

Mornings With Maury

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Colder temps are closing in fast, my weight is out of control following the 2 week government shutdown induced depressive beer bender I went on, and I would like to be on a new bike and racing more in 2014. So, I made the commitment to go back to my gym (Morey Maury Ballstein’s Fitness Center) to mix things up, burn some calories, muscle up some flab, stay out of the wind and cold a few days a week and actually interact with people outside my home every so often.

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Getting What You Wish For

Part I, Friday

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With B-Man off of school on Friday I did not expect to be doing any riding until Saturday. It turns out that Wifey decided to take a much-needed vacation day and gave me the go-ahead to go out and get some trail time in. I did not say no. Continue Reading →

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