Since I solved my foot and knee issues well over a year ago, I have had very few, if any, hikes that I would say sucked. Well, at least until Tuesday morning’s lumber.

Let’s rewind. Monday night, I had a few pints and then set about making another batch of Soiled Tuna Mac ‘n’ Cheese. Along the way, and after dinner, I had 60 or so ounces of water. I was proud of myself for hydrating and getting to bed early. And when Lola and I went to bed, I was feeling 100% fine.

I slept like a rock, comforted by Lola’s snoring at the foot of my bed. Then, around 3 AM, I rolled over and was about to let off a long, loud burst of gas, but I felt like I was really going to be rolling the dice. So I got up to use the bathroom. That was a good move, and saved me from laundering sheets at 3 AM. It also saved me a good deal of embarrassment in front of my dog.

When I got up at 5:20, I felt fine, but after a cup of coffee, things started rumbling again. Damn it!!

I took some medicine and started feeling myself, so I gathered my gear and headed out.

As I drove to the trails, I could not think of what the hell made me so sick in the stomach. All I could think was that the frozen peas I added to the Mac ‘n’ Cheese last night were undercooked, and I was having difficulty digesting them, or they were tainted.

In any event, I was glad that it was all literally behind me.

When I pulled into the lot, it was still a solid sheet of ice, and I had to grasp onto the car to stay upright as I made my way to the trunk to strap on my micro-spikes.

Sadly, the nearly 40-degree temps had turned the once firm snow and ice on the trails to mush. There was a firm layer about 2 inches below, but the mush on top made it a real chore. Sadly, THINGS. WOULD. GET. WORSE.

Nearly two miles in, the rumbling came back, and I knew what was coming next.

The next thing I knew, I was penguining my way to the campground porto. It was fucking miserable.

I then started off again, a little worse for wear, but intent on getting a hike in, even if I had to cut it to four miles or so. Sadly, it would come back, and the process was repeated.

I drove in near silence, head hung with poop-shame, just happy to be heading home with my drawers empty.

Somehow, in that blur of stomach issues, I got 4.36 miles on my feet.

The good news is that I felt better by noon, got in some last-minute holiday errands, and Wifey was home from PA soon after.

I had pre-aborted a Wednesday morning hike to make sure my gut was back in order, and it was. And even better, Wifey got up with Lola (thanks!), and I slept, REALLY SLEPT, for three hours longer than usual. Oddly enough, the sun had only been up for about 10 minutes before I woke.

I feel SO much better today, and as my Holiday gift to you, I HEAVILY edited out the gross bits of this post. I’m still not sure what got me, but it was something.

As I type, Brennan is hurling himself home, and the three of us will spend a chill evening of movie watching and food. I am, of course, going with a traditional Christmas Eve spread—a Tex-Mex buffet witch choice of ground beef burrito or chicken fajita, guac, refried beans, chips, and salsa.

Then, on Christmas Day, I will be making breakfast: eggs, bacon, toast, sausage, hash browns, and lots of coffee. Followed by a more traditional turkey dinner later in the day. Like Thanksgiving, I love doing the cooking, and it really is a chance for me to get in a zone of doing something that I’m actually good at. Just stay out of my kitchen, please.

Have good Holiday.

Later.

NOTE: No photos from the short hike on Tuesday for obvious reasons. The photo above is one I took in October while creeping around Meridian Park. I never liked the first edit; it was too “meh” for me. So, I decided to take some inspiration from another nature photographer I enjoy, and I like the re-edited RAW file much better now.