It happened again. I thought I could justify not lumbering in mid-Michigan’s recent snow/rain/thaw/freeze hellscape by calling it a “mini-break” and embracing four days of rest, recovery, good food, and slack in the name of staying warm and dry with bones all in one piece.
I thought this plan would be good for me, and have me rested, recovered, and ready to get back at it come Monday morning.
Well, I am indeed ready to get back at it, but four days of no lumbering, no “picture-takin,” and Wifey in Western PA for two of those days, had me bored out of my freaking mind, and ready to take a hostage in an apathetic fit of listless rage.
Luckily for any would-be hostages, I only left the house to go to Meijer for food and beer, and I was pretty sure the cashier could have easily thwarted any hostage taking by an old, chubby, weaponless man buying chicken breasts, breadcrumbs, yeast, and Guinness.
Not to mention, I really don’t know what I would have done with a hostage other than force them to read the rubbish I write here when I don’t have a mundane, 5-mile lumber to write about. My 2026 New Year’s resolution is going to be, “Just because you think it, doesn’t mean you have to write it.”1
So now, here I am, Monday morning, coffee flowing, fingers typing, a turd knocking at the back door, and the sun still nearly two hours away from making an appearance.
I have no idea what the trails are going to be like. Had there been no grooming, I think they would be clear, but I have a suspicion that micro-spikes are going to be needed. Which, in lieu of a complete thaw, is the best-case scenario right now.
Two Hours Later…
Well, I was finally back in the woods, and just as I thought, the trails were a frozen shit show. Having said that, there was enough melt and enough solid ice to make the lumber doable with just mico-spikes. I would NOT recommend trying hike on mid-Michigan trails right now without them. Unless you’re into things like broken hips and flirting with an Oxy addiction. As you can see in the photo above, the parking lot was a glaring sheet of ice in the light of my headlamp.
While the ice and spikes made for a more efficient lumber, the insane amount of noise that spikes on solid, pockmarked ice make in an empty forest is insane! It sounds like an entire army of Orcs marching through the woods instead of a lone fat man in search of inner peace and crap images.
Which leads me to my next topic, a complete and utter lack of photos due to said noise. Over the course of the hike, due to the loud “CLACK, CLACK, CLACK,” of spikes on ice, I spooked the following before any chance of a photo was had: a hawk, a male cardinal, one random deer, a bald eagle, a downy woodpecker, and a black-capped chickadee. It was frustrating to say the least.
What was not frustrating was getting 6.22 miles in my feetz to start the week.
I guess I should go do some holiday shopping or something today. I dread the idea of going out amongst the masses, and I’m starting to wonder what gifts I can pick up at the mini mart down the road. I’m thinking of making up a gift basket for Wifey made up of some packs of Combos, cans of Monster Energy, air fresheners, a lighter, scratch off lottery tickets, a jug of windshield washing fluid, and vacuum-sealed tuna sandwiches with a sell by date of June 2029.
Later.
- I mean, most sites or blogs do at least one of the following: Entertain, inform, engage, educate, promote, inspire, or attempt to sell something. And after 12 years of the blog in this format and having moved on from cycling (you’re welcome), I have finally realized that I do none of that, nor do I want to. I just spew random and unfunny thoughts in my head, along with writing about walking in the woods, and posting some amateur nature and wildlife photos. I could just do that on social media if I wanted, and I don’t. Other than IG, for now.