I got out on Monday for a 6.75+ lumber, half of which was done in a thunderstorm, and I have to say it was pretty magnificent. Plodding along through the dark woods with rumbling thunder and lightning overhead and rain pissing down shouldn’t be as fun as it is, but it is. And I only almost pissed myself once with fear.
I had a shit night of sleep on Monday and woke up on Tuesday with my fall/winter anxiety turned up to 11 for a variety of stupid reasons, and while anxiety and racing thoughts suck, they are the perfect cocktail for a rage-hike, and rage I did, completing a 6.16-mile lumber in 1:32, averaging 4.0 MPH— my best time since April when I flirted with mixing in some running and fucked up my feet.
I then came home to bag 10 bags of leaves, cook some food, and take care of some other shit. I was WRECKED and ready for bed by 5 PM, although through the magic [insert rainbow emoji here] of UEFA Champions League footy and a couple pints of Four Giants, I hung in there until almost 8.
***
I slept like an obese rock that night and was oddly refreshed and ready for another hike on Wednesday, even if it was 34˚ and pissing down a mix of steady rain and a wintry mix.
I was dry enough up top, but my pants, which are great a wicking sweat from my man-scrum, are not the most water-repellent, and for the second time this week, I found myself soaked. Despite the conditions, I got in a quick 4 miles and headed home for domestic engineering and a burrito made with leftover pork tenderloin and homemade refried beans.
Sadly, this hike would be the final nail in my iPhone’s coffin, and my ancient iPhone with the cracked screen, which also survived a dunk in a toilet bowl, did not survive the water sneaking through my jacket pocket zipper as I plodded along in the rain. RIP.
I see this dude all the time; he pounds out some serious miles. Well done!
Over the past year and 2 months, I have found myself out in shit weather more and more, and way more than back when I rode bikes. I think it has something to do with feeling “safer” in the woods than on the dirt roads during a storm, and, broken iPhone aside, it is less costly. A quick rinse of the shoes, and done. No drivetrains to worry about or brake pads to replace. And if I get struck by lightning and killed, that’s on me, unlike if Crystal runs me over while vaping and drinking coffee as she speeds along in her beat-up 2007 Chevy Malibu on her way to Custom Inkz to get a portrait of baby Jaxon (her 30-year-old daughter’s 2nd grandbaby) tattooed on her shoulder with Great Mam-Ma’s Lil’ Angel in all caps Old English underneath.
***
Thursday was a day off from hiking for an early morning dentist appointment, followed by trying to get a new phone sorted out.
The dentist was cavity-free and fine, but the iPhone was a clusterfuck of screwed-up Apple accounts, missing passwords, long waits in understaffed mobile stores filled with freaks (myself included), updated security codes sent somewhere not my email, a call to Apple, frustration, a 24-hour hold on my account, and a complete psychological breakdown by me; my first in years.
It wasn’t pretty, and all I have to show for it is a large black and blue lump on my aged, blood-thinned wrist from a rageful encounter with the kitchen table top as I emotionally confronted now being an old man who doesn’t “get” technology made after 2001 and struggles with the idea of even owning a mobile phone let alone being forced to buy a bottom of the barrel iPhone SE just to communicate. I know I’m not very smart, and I have an empty drawer of diplomas to back it up, but not very smart, and getting older combined with my fucked up brain is not fun.
The rest of the day was spent in a haze of regret and self-reflection as I came to realize that despite all the work I put in with the O.G. Mindbender and taking an anti-depressant, certain triggers still set me off into a dangerous spiral of inherited (thanks?) otherworldly violent self-loathing and misanthropic, anti-social thinking that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Well, maybe one person, but he’s got enough legal issues going on right now.
It’s nobody’s fault but my own racing, anxious mind. Things had been building up for over a week now, but I really thought I had nipped the shit in the bud, but I was wrong. However, like a fat kid busting through a trampoline, I’ll bounce back.
***
After a week of cold rain, storms, and wind, Friday was crisp and sunny, and I got out for 5.75 miles of slow lumbering in the now leafless woods.
To be honest, I just wasn’t that into it due to my mind being on stupid first-world problems like having access to the apps and contacts on my phone and how Apple would fuck with me later in the day when they “allow” me back into my account in another 12 days, the very account they happily use to bill me for purchases.
One gnome stolen, another found along the park perimeter.
The funny thing is, I use my phone for EVERYTHING but talking on the phone. I recently had a call from my father, and I had to admit to him he was the first person I have actually talked on the phone with who WASN’T a doctor’s office receptionist in months.
***
Lastly, I have aborted my 30-mile weekly goal for now and have returned to 25 miles. I know an extra five miles per week doesn’t sound like much, but when combined with extra autumnal domestic duties, it got stressful. Maybe in another week or so, I can return to 30.
Later.
THE SOILED SOUNDS TRACK OF THE POST
Mike Krol and the legendary Mac McCaughan from Superchunk have teamed up as an Indie power duo called Mac Krol for a few songs, and Fair Warning is one of my faves.