In August, I wanted to start putting together hikes in the 5+ mile range and aim to do them at least four times a week. I thought it would fill a void between pointlessly “walking” on the Dreadmill and pushing myself physically like I do/did when mountain biking, all the while being in the woods with my camera. And I was right; it allowed all of that. However, forcing my more-out-of-shape-than-I-care-to-admit self to jump right into 5-mile hikes in the woods during the heat of August was not the best idea; my back paid the price, and I experienced multiple painful back spasms during those hikes.
With those spasms fresh in my memory, I said, “fuck it,” and went back to the treadmill and the gym until The Great Depression of 2022 Part II kicked in, and outside of the occasional short photo creep to get out of the house, I soon found myself spending my free time over the next two months doing things like lying in bed staring at the ceiling and having no appetite for anything other than over easy eggs and toast, deli hoagies, pizza, and beer. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always liked that stuff, but not every day; without exercise! [I think I have gone full years in a row without eating deli meat! What the actual fornication?]
Then, somewhere around mid-September, I started to feel more myself mentally and re-started my hiking goals, but made them a bit more modest—aiming for up to 4 miles a few times a week and building up from there. I also ditched my hiking boots for some lighter trail running shoes and then ditched those too-narrow trail running shoes for Hoka Anacapa Low GORE-TEX hiking shoes. [At first, I considered them the most over-designed shoe in the world, but I soon changed my mind. Switching to the Hoka’s felt like going from a Huffy mountain bike to a full carbon Trek Pro-Caliber. No “Regerts.”]
The combination of avoiding the Bed of Torment, getting over my Empty Nest Syndrome, cooler fall weather, easing into higher mileage hikes, better footwear, and weening myself off hoagies and pizzas for dinner every night made a huge difference, and as I mentioned in my last post, I am feeling way more energetic and excited to be “doing stuff” outside.
This excitement came to a halt on Thursday.
I knew Thursday would be busy; I had an 8 AM appointment for new tires on Wifey’s car, a lawn to be mowed before the rain moved in, an appointment with the O.G. Mindbender, and all my other normal duties.
Also on the agenda was stopping for a blood test. I had been at the doctor’s weeks ago when he ordered the blood work, but knowing that I was balls-deep in a hoagie and pizza bender, I wanted to wait until I could start get my diet back under control.
After spending an hour and a half in the tire store waiting room, I finally took my fasting ass to get my blood drawn at the nearby lab. A prod, a poke, a band-aid, a drive home, and a mowed lawn later, I received an email with my results.
FOR THE LOVE OF THE DOGS ABOVE!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?????
As you might imagine from that last sentence, the numbers were high.
A late afternoon appointment with the O.G. Mindbender and me going over some previous test results today helped to get me thinking better and realizing that I have had equally high numbers in the past and have lowered them so much that it had my doctor baffled; it seems that most folks with high cholesterol numbers, not due to family history, do NOT actually heed the advice of diet and exercise from their doctors and opt for the meds.
Since I don’t want the meds (I take 3 pills now that I don’t want to take!), I will return to the same lean mean [or meat], good carbs, low-fat diet that I have enjoyed most of my adult life, with occasional cheat nights thrown in, adding in hikes and strength training to help get the good numbers back.
The lesson in all this is that aging can be very unforgiven. You might think you can go on a three-month-long hoagie, eggs, and pizza bender at 51 years old—and you can—but there WILL be consequences. The bright spot in all of this is that it’s not like I’ll be starting a healthy diet from scratch. I have always cooked healthy-ish and have already been working out and exercising in some form or another with varying results for almost 30 years; I just got a bit off track.
I’m closing in on my third 20+ mile week in a row, so, time to get out there and start lumbering.
Later.
SOILED SOUNDS TRACK OF THE POST:
The band Do Nothing has been on my radar for a couple of years now and recently found their way back into my earholes. I am sharing because they are a stellar band and should be in everybody’s earholes (or orifice of your choosing). I love this track; it goes back and forth with Lebron James as my favorite Do Nothing track.