I didn’t ride today. Or yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that, or the day before that, or the day before that, or the day before that, or the day before that, or the day before that, or the day before that, or the day before that, or the day before that, or the day before that. The day before THAT I did though.
Sweet Jesus it’s been two weeks since I rode my bike outside!!
Schedules, weather, various appointments, laziness and the overwhelming desire to NOT freeze my saggy balls off in -20˚ wind chills have all played a part. I still forced myself on to the trainer or treadmill almost daily for rides or runs, so I wasn’t being COMPLETELY lazy, just sort of a pudd whacker about the weather. Of course, if you know me at all or have read more than one post of this blog you knew I was a pudd whacker already.
I was scheduled to ride fat bikes with my friend Napper today, but the -0˚ temps and -20˚ wind chills had us thinking otherwise and bailing, it also had area school districts cancelling school and B-Man at home today. So even if we would have been dumb enough to go out and ride in the below zero temps I would have had to abort. Sigh.
Instead of riding with the Bearded Wonder I ended up sweating all over myself on the trainer in the Stankment™ for an hour. The good news is I think the temperature is supposed to warm up for a day or so over the weekend before it plunges south again. Since I’m fed up with indoor workouts, I reckon I will once again layer my bulging, misshapen body up with various bits of under-sized winter clothing and finally get outside. I hope.
But what about Tony?
Finding the above photo of Tony Bennet online has been the highlight of my month so far. There is so much to love about it: the Fila sweats, the Adidas kicks, the Vegas backdrop and of course the bike. Who knew that Tony B liked to ride bikes? Well, USED to ride bikes (or at lest sit atop one in a Vegas parking lot while the hot sun set upon melting his hair spray). Lately every time I see Tony Bennet he looks like he’s trying to keep Viagra fueled “little Anthony” from popping up/out as he sashays around with Lady Gaga and her Lady ta-tas.
In any event, the pic is sweet and as a bonus it makes me think of the song Tony’s Theme by the Pixies.
This is a song about a superhero named Tony
It’s called Tony’s Theme
He’s got the oil on his chain, for a ride in the rain
No baloney
Ride around on my bicycle like a pony
I’m waving hi, hi, hi, hi, hi
Gu-gu-gu-Gimme a scream
Give me, give me the theme
Of Tony
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
I am Tony, super bicycle Tony, I’m racing
Spitfire turn and pop a wheelie, burn and evil chasing
I’m waving bye, bye, bye, bye, bye
I got a card in my spokes
I’m practicing my joke, I’m learning
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
This is a song about a superhero named Tony
It’s called Tony’s Theme
I can look at the sun if you give me some bad sun glasses
I’m back on the road, I cut my grass like I’m told
AFTER CLASSES!
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny, To-ny
To-ny
That’s all I got, later.