Tuesdays & Trade Wars


Tuesday was not one of my better days. Since the start of this whole mess we, the people of the earth find ourselves in, I have been doing what I do and rolling with the pandemic punches. However, that was not the case on Tuesday.

Signs of past forest unrest.

I wasn’t frightened, worried, or panicked, I just couldn’t get my mental shit together. Finally, at 7 PM that night, I said, “fuck it,” went to bed and woke up on Wednesday feeling a shit ton better.

I was extremely tempted to get on my bike for a ride but convinced myself that would be unwise. So, I headed out for a woodsy walk before a Facetime appointment with my mindbender.

Tree skin.

The hike was excellent, the mind-bending was good, and afterward, I gave my father a call to check in on him.

My father is pretty much a self-imposed recluse anyway, so not venturing out of his house or interacting with people isn’t too much of a stretch for him. He spends most of his days watching Russian snuff videos on YouTube, and concocting right-wing conspiracy theories. His latest is that China created COVID-19 in response to losing a trade war with the buffoon in the White House. My answer to that was to just say, “Oh, well, you never know.” I, of course, had a TON of questions concerning his lack of facts, but there is really no point in saying much more, especially since, in the realm of his theories, this was rather mild. I mean past theories include Michelle Obama being a man, Hillary Clinton having a body double because she had a mid-campaign stroke, and the Catholic mass originally being said in Latin because “Satan hates Latin.” So, the phone call equivalent of a nod and smile was in order.

Despite his reclusiveness and theories, he’s thankfully doing as well as a 78-year-old man who had triple bypass surgery 8 months ago can be doing during a global pandemic.

Somewhere beyond that tree in the middle is where I took that emergency shit the other day.

I finished off the day with a short backyard kickabout with B and Lola. Wednesday was not a day that I will hold dear to my heart for years to come, but a day that was significantly better than my Tuesday was.

As I type this, I have every intention of violating my self imposed outdoor riding ban and going for a short dirt road ride. I figure if something happens to me on the dirt roads, it will probably be something like being run over by a tractor or eaten by a rabid bull. And if that’s the case, I think they can bypass the possible pandemic-stressed ER and go right to the funeral home. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, and I just get outside to blow the stink off me without incident.

My luck continues! I found some free chapstick!


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