DIY Done

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.

I’m back like a herd of turtles! Where did the pandemic time go? I’ll tell you where it went, it—along with a shit ton of money—went to Home Despot™ and into the backyard of the Cul-De-Sac-Shack!

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Macro Monday/Random Ramblings

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.

As Pandemic-A-Go-Go 2020 weekends go, this one was pretty darn, not bad-ish. I mean, if you take out the facts that for the first Mother’s Day weekend in about 7 years, Wifey and I were not watching B play footy at the Midland tourney, that any time I cough, I briefly spiral into mind-racing thoughts of having “the” COVID, or that I have to mask up to enter a store with no plans of robbing it, only to find myself surrounded by maskless rim lickers showing me that they have the MAGA American God1-given right to not wear a mask and help prevent the further spread of a virus. Yeah, if you take that shit out, it was all pretty normal and sort of fun.

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Pretty Darn OK

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.

Some days are pretty darn OK, even when they don’t offer one all that much. Such was the case with my Thursday, Day ____ of being Not Really Quarantined during Pandemic-A-Go-Go 2020.

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Can’t Deny It

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.

THURSDAY, 10:13 AM

I’ve looked at this blank page of digital nothingness for too long. I’ve got nothing right now. If I stay here looking at the blankness for any longer, I won’t be able to not talk about the fact that I know, ACTUALLY FUCKING KNOW, a COVID denier.

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The Post Office Affair

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.

I’ve never been to prison. Well, at least not yet, but I have been to the U.S. Post Office in the middle of a global pandemic. And I have to think that they are one and the same. The following is the account of my surreal trip into pandemic-era postal bureaucracy on Monday morning.

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Masking Enjoyment

NOT REALLY QUARANTINED DAY ____.

“Who was that masked man?

“That’s that chubby guy that’s in here like three times a week buying beer and stuff to make crap Mexican food.”

“Oh, he seemed so confident and manly. I thought maybe it was someone cool.”

“Nope, just a fat guy who drinks too much beer, and eats a lot of Mexican food wearing a homemade surgical mask.”

*BOTH GROCERY CLERKS LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY*

*CREDITS ROLL*

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